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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I'm fat and quite unattractive and I'm not sure my partner is bothered anymore

7 replies

GetOutOfBed · 12/04/2015 13:52

I mean, not bothered about me. I know I need to lose weight but I have absolutely no motivation or will power. I'm knackered and look and feel like shit. I'm pretty sure he won't stick around long term but what do I do? Cut him loose first? I know I need to make an effort but I'm struggling and his lack of interest doesn't help.

OP posts:

Caoimhe1922 · 12/04/2015 15:25

You sound a little depressed. Could you talk to someone in RL or book a GP appointment?

WhatsGoingOnEh · 12/04/2015 15:28

I was like this with my DH. The good news is, if/when your current DP does sod off, you will feel upset for about 2 weeks, maximum. After that, you'll feel like a huge emotional weight has been lifted, as you're no longer carefully monitoring his feelings.

Then a big physical weight will be lifted, as your happy new life will give you a tonne of motivation to diet and go to the gym.

ALaughAMinute · 12/04/2015 18:30

You might feel unattractive because you are with the wrong man. How about finding someone who loves you for who you are and makes you feel good about yourself? If you feel unattractive and unloved then do something about it. Be the person you have always wanted to be. Don't give up on your dreams, happiness is out there if you want it.

Joysmum · 12/04/2015 18:58

I've been anywhere between 18.5 stone and 9.5 stone (I have binge eating disorder) and it's never affected how much he loves me, only how I react to myself.

If you think it matters to him (other than in his concern for you) then I feel sorry for you.

pocketsaviour · 12/04/2015 21:07

How long have you been together? Have you gained weight in the relationship? Has he said anything to you or are you just assuming (and maybe getting it wrong because you feel so down on yourself)?

EvoraEvora · 12/04/2015 23:33

what pocketsaviour said.

has he been critical about your body? you do sound very down op, could him seeming to not be interested be his reaction to you feeling so down/negative?

have you talked to him about how you are feeling?

rb32 · 13/04/2015 10:42

"I know I need to make an effort but I'm struggling and his lack of interest doesn't help."

Two things - first, and I know it's hard, but if you think about yourself "I'm knackered and look and feel like shit." then make a change. Nobody else can do it for you and it'll be alot of hard work.

Second.."his lack of interest doesn't help." Do you mean sex or just in general? If it's just generally not interested then maybe it's run its course for him. If it's sex; do you ever initiate sex with him? If not he might think you're not bothered either = stalemate.

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