Don't worry, perhaps it is unusual, I have no way of knowing that.
Perhaps it would help to clarify (at risk of hijacking thread, sorry)
He left in 2004, I still felt awful for a year or two and would try and contact him, but largely got on with life after that, as he clearly was not coming back. The pain stayed but was far easier to cope with, obviously it does improve. But when I would see him by chance, it flooded back - partly it was the fact he was hiding, he had behaved appallingly since we first met, continually dumping me and then getting back together, which made it very hard to accept it was properly over. I had never known the score and wasn't convinced he wasn't just on a break again if that makes sense?
So I kept hoping. And indeed when I 'found' him again, and got him to speak to me for the first time since he'd left, about 4-5 years ago, despite the fact he had married someone else, he kept turning up in the night wanting to have sex with me, and shamingly, I allowed this because it helped me realise it hadn't been my fault, or that I was so unattractive.
He has been a very confusing person to deal with and maybe that is why it took me so long to completely detach, because he never did properly so it kept me on a string which I wasn't strong enough to sever.
Maybe this helps explain it. I have recently made it clear to him that he is no longer welcome in our lives. I am jubilant that finally I am in control and it no longer hurts. Seeing an established pattern repeating itself, knowing beyond doubt he was lying, and finally being able to BELIEVE that he doesn't give a monkeys, was what really helped me to let go.