Why does he think he can get away with this?

[single4ever]

I have been in a long term relationship (13yrs) we have a 10 year old son together, he is trying to force me out of my sons life and our home, my ex has not worked for years and I have always been the main bread winner and paid the bills, but the house (although bought jointly) is in his name. He has made up a pack of lies to the court and is trying to get me out. I am living in my bedroom to stay away from him, he is telling me I can not take my son out on my own, (although there is no legally reason why as to why I can't) but I do not want my son to be caught in the middle so for his sake I have backed down, but I feel so sad and frustrated.

Our son even asked his Dad if it was OK to have the Easter Egg that I had bought him... this is not the first time something like this has happened. I worry about my son and what he must be thinking.

on a separate note, today I have found out that he has cancelled the tax credit payments, and when I rang them they said that they had had a call saying that I needed to make a single claim - but until the courts decide I am staying put. I hope that my partner will be found out to be a liar and he will have to go (as I have proof that I have paid the mortgage/deposit and legal fees when we bought the property).

Sorry, for the novel, I have rather a lot to get off my chest, any help or advise would be appreciated.

He's trying to stop your income to block you having access to solicitors in court. That is beyond abusive. I feel so angry for you, I have an awful ex who too pulled some daft stunts.

He can lie all he likes but no court will believe him if he has no proof. Pledge to the court you are that confident you dont have alcohol problems that they are free to
Test your blood levels whenever. Take in a copy of your health records to show there is nothing documented that proves his claims. As for him accusing you of been violent, if it's on record that he has previously and obv you haven't. Again nothing to worry about. Very worst case scenario is he gets your house, but not your son.

Stand up to him, it sounds like he plants seeds of fear to whittle you down whwn in reality he can claim whatever he likes.. with no evidence he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Let him know he doesn't frighten you and your very confident about the whole thing. He's emotionally abusing you to get his own way. You have proof he has a history of mental illness, that your the one financially stable and you have always cared for your son. Just because some solicitor is acting on his behalf doesn't mean he has a good case, the solicitor is likely humouring him as he's paying! Please build your self esteem and don't let this man scare you anymore, it really sounds like you don't have an anything to worry about. Dig for dirt on him, everything from mental health, finances, criminal record and so on. It all looks very much in your favour

Thank you Fedup2015 I asked my solicitor and she had said about saying that I would be happy to do any test they would like, to test me for alcohol abuse. I didn't think of my medical records though, that's a good idea it can only help to prove that I am telling the truth.

His mother has told me stuff recently about his past, which I found very shocking (to do with stealing and family), but I only have her word, I don't know if there is any real evidence, and although she said she would be willing to give a statement in support of me, I couldn't ask her to relive what he has done in the pass, it was very upsetting to her when she told me and she is very ill, and very upset at what is going on. This is effecting so many people, its horrible.

But my main concern is our son, I just think he would find it easier if he was still in the same home, (although I must be honest it doesn't feel very much like a home to me anymore), I just want the best for our son, and not for him to be any more upset at what is going on than he has to be.

Your son is best with you, any court can see that. Your ex doesn't stand a chance in court. Please stop listening to him with regards to what you can and can't do, if you can take your son now and get out of there. Tell your solicitor your ex was abusing you and you felt very threatened and that he was upsetting your son and warping his perspective. Them tell your ex if he wants to see his son then he can wait and see what the courts say, as he's made his bed so he can lie in it. You do not diserve this. You need 5o be as far away from your ex as possible, he is damaging your son aswell. He can not stop you leaving and you are breaking no laws taking your child with you. If he rings the police so be it, describe his awful behaviour to the police and get it on record.

Please ring women's aid or something, as I feel he has whittled you down so much you Darent even go out with your child. That is abuse and you need that on record for the court and some support from people who can reassure you

You absolutely need a solicitor. And a good one. This is one of those situations where you need all the help you can get. It will cost a lot true, but anything else will do your head in.

Get a rottweiler solicitor and speak to women's aid as ASAP.

I would not stop paying the mortgage at present as it is proof of your contribution however hard this may be. The fact you had very good grounds for you not being on the mortgage (bankruptcy) clarifies issues for the court. When you make your statement, if you have not already done so, you can make everything clear about how debt was built up due to your illness.

This is a very difficult situation for you and your son and the atmosphere must be toxic. I think he needs to leave, not you. He is bullying and abusing you, financially and emotionally.

Something has to give and as others have said, you must contact WA. Solicitors are there for cold, hard legal advice and facts and are not a shoulder to cry on (a very expensive one).

You simply cannot stay as you are cowering in your bedroom and being forced from your parental role with your son. Please do make things happen.

Thank you all so much for your support.

I have finally managed to get hold of the Tax Credit helpline, and found a very helpful person! I briefly explained the situation and I was told that if I made another joint claim he would just cancel it again. So they have done a single claim for me, and our son. I asked about if my ex had already used him in his claim and they said that then there would be an inquiry but the tax credits would be awarded to the main carer, and they usually base this on who gets the child benefit, which thankfully is me.

I did manage to spend quite sometime on my own with my son last night (which was great), he loves his computer, which although I shouldn't say it, it is a blessing at the moment as he is in his bedroom for long periods of time.

Very well done. A good day's work. Keep going.

I feel so shattered, I went to my solicitor yesterday, and then spent some time with my eldest son, going through stuff for his appointment with my solicitor today. I found out so much that from him that I didn't even know, from when he was younger, things I should have known, that upsets me. He has been putting a brave face on but I know his hurting, and he is still so supportive to me.

I also spoke to my counselor today, it was hard, but it helped, she has said I am doing the right thing for my youngest, but it is hard.

I spent quite sometime with my youngest again tonight, in his room talking about computer games and him showing me a game he has been saving up for. It was lovely, but frustrating that, that is all I can do for now.