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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My dp and ex

2 replies

JustMeAndDD · 28/04/2004 15:01

My ex doesnt know Im with my dp, for a lot of reasons that involves the past and our history, which is just rather complicated.

However, me and dp are talking about when dp moves in. Hes afraid that ex will tell dd that dp broke up her mummy and daddy, and try to get her to hate him. Ive been reassuring dp as hopefully dd will listen to me more, and as dp will be living with us, shell be use to seeing him more, and hopefully grow to love him as another family member.

Plus ex may have a gf (he wont admit it but I think he does) but even if he hasnt, there will be a time when he does, and she may want to be involved with dd too. So in my mind, ex wouldnt want to start saying bad things about dp because I could just as easily start saying bad things about his gf. But I dont want it to get like that. I just want us to all get along.

Anyone else been in this sort of trouble? How do I go round telling ex, and how do I make ex understand that I dont want him upsetting dd and putting thoughts into her head about dp?

OP posts:
Twinkie · 28/04/2004 15:03

Why do you think he would do this and how old is DD??

Is he not reasonable enough to see that it would not just be hurting you but will hurt DD by causing her home life to be unhappy and unsettled??

JustMeAndDD · 28/04/2004 15:16

Well to cut a long story short, I was with dp before ex, which ex knows about, so has never liked him, especially when I asked dp to be godfather for dd.

DD is 17 months, so at the moment it wont have so much of an effect on her. Ex has a regular contact with her, and sees her on a regular basis, and has her at his house etc. And we had both agreed that when she's old enough to understand, we would sit down and explain to her why we are not together, and why things are the way they are.

He is quite an emotional unbalanced person, so I think his emotions would get the better of him, as he still loves me you see, as I broke up with him.

One time, he saw me and dp in town, and he just went mad, and even rang my mum up and started screaming at her, and at this point, we (me and dp) had only just got back together and so ex didnt even know we were back together. Does that make sense?

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