Friend not sending something back as agreed - what to do?

[maggiethemagpie]

I went to visit a friend who lives 200 miles away. I left a brand new, unopened, expensive lipstick there and she messaged me to ask if it was mine and did she want me to put it in the post. I said yes, thanks. About a week later it hadn't arrived, and as my friend is a single mum and quite busy I messaged her to say i knew she was busy and would it help if I sent her an SAE then she didn't have to go to the post office just drop in nearest letterbox.
She replied saying sorry just being a numpty I'll post it no need to send SAE.
It's now two weeks later and no lippy. I messaged her to ask if she'd managed to send it back yet and had no reply.
But why offer to send something back and refuse any offers of help to make it easier and then not send it back?

I know I shouldn't spend so much on a lipstick and then carelessly leave it somewhere but it cost me £21 and hasn't even been opened yet!

I'm not sure what to do next, I feel I can't keep bringing it up as I've already asked 3 times now.

I'm really furious that she hasn't returned it, I know it was my fault to leae it there in the first place but she did offer to post it back and has now completely abdicated.

I feel like I'm being made a fool of if I raise it again.

What would you do?

Send the SAE anyway?

Accept that you're not getting it back but drop the friendship.

Oh god I've been this rubbish at posting something before, I'm forgetful and disorganised. She must intend to send it as she text you to say it was there.. Send the SAE then she can't not!

I can go weeks not knowing my arse from my elbow and I've got DH at home. Unfortunately stuff gets in the way that makes you forget smaller things like posting lippy back to someone. Especially if it's fairly small & unobtrusive. Sounds awful but it's not important to her, so it won't be high on her list of priorities. Especially during half term.

I'd send the SAE with a quick note as a reminder to pop it in the post rather than have to package it up, queue at the post office etc.

Put an SAE in the post with a thank you (in advance) note.

She might be disorganised/not have a decent jiffy bag/no stamps etc.

Perhaps she doesn't think that a lipstick is that big a thing to get to a post office for and that any time will do?

Bin the lipstick stealing bitch.

Seriously? It's a lipstick. She's just too busy / not organised enough. Is it that big a deal?

I'm crap at getting to a post office, never mind finding an envelope etc. I'm sure she will send it back when she has a "getting organised" day.

If she wax going to pinch it why would she text you she had it?

I think you're overacting here.

Send the SAE.

Cabrinha maybe I was a bit harsh but I have a very low tolerance for people who say they will do something and then don't. I've been given the run around too many times before.

OP if she is a good friend and you don't want to lose her then send an SAE.

If she still doesn't send it back, THEN bin the lipstick-stealing bitch

You would last long with me pocket I've got a head like a sieve

To be fair its your fault for leaving it there in the first place and her posting it is a favour really. Perhaps she's busy and it's not a priority?

If you send her an SAE (with definitely the right postage on) she can just drop it in a postbox

it can take me weeks to make it to the PO with a non-urgent item (esp with the queues) but there's a postbox at the end of my road.

Send her some chocolate or something too

LTB.

I'll send the SAE. I was going to do this anyway but she said not to! She still may not send it back but at least then I know I've done everything. It's not thatI'm that bothered about the lipstick, its just frustrating when someone says they will do something and doesn't!

Make sure you send her a stamped jiffy bag rather than just an envelope. I ordered some make-up online once and all I got was an empty envelope with a tear in it where the box the make-up was in had cut through the paper.

God you'd have dumped me long ago. I'm rubbish at posting stuff. I forget all about it, it simply doesn't cross my mind that I might need to go to the post office to post something.

It's so easy to forget this shit. I'd resent having to get to the post office to do one more niggly chore. Id forget to do it but keep meaning to. Id hate to ask you for the £4-£5 it's probably going to cost for p&p. You can't just post it. It def needs a Jiffy bag or it won't get back to you. Also postage is pricey now. Isn't it £2.80 for a small parcel?

You're going to have to get a Jiffy bag and find correct postage for something of that weight. It's a lot of faff for her for one lippy. Can you not get another one until you see her again? Or is that not going to be for months?

she's used it.

It will go as large letter, so I can just send a jiffy bag with a large letter stamp. Inside another jiffy bag with a large letter stamp to her. I completely agree that I should make it as hassle free as I can for her as it was my fault to leave it there. Just I asked her for her address so I could send her the SAE and she said no don't worry I'll send it and then didn't.
I know the street she lives on so can probably find out the post code online.

How can you leave a lipstick behind in a house you don't even know the address for?!

Is she actually a friend, or a one night stand

Sorry pocket, I wasn't pulling you up on it! I was joking myself about binning the lipstick thief!

My "seriously" was for the OP, not you!

Yeah, she should send it back - but it's a faff getting to the post office. I know I'd end up with it on my table for a month.

I think the OP can live without a lipstick

Oh this is totally the kind of thing that I would do. I'm reasonably organised but letters & parcels seem to totally floor me. I never ever have stamps & remembering to buy them just seems beyond me. If you send get the SAE then hopefully that will help. If it was me then I can 100% guarantee that I'd post it on the same day.