online dating advice

[Lostlou]

I've 'met' someone on match.com he seems nice, 38 (I'm 41) never been married, no kids. I'm divorced (in 2012) had one relationship since, for around 18 months, which didn't work out.

We've exchanged messages online, swapped mobile numbers, sent texts and he has suggested meeting up at a cafe.

I am keen to meet him (he looks gorgeous) but need to play it cool I think.

Any words of wisdom from people who've handled this successfully please?

Thank you!

Get pregnant!!

Don't freak out if you still see him online... He's still entitled to speak to other women.

That'd be my only advice. I see so many people go crazy about this and it's ruined a few friends' potential dates.

I think you need to meet him :) you can only get to know someone better by spending time with them. Meet for coffee or something low key at first. Meet somewhere public, tell a friend where you are and who with. Dont Rush into judgements,, try to meet a couple of times before you think about if he is right if wrong. Try to enjoy it! Tell yourself it's not a big deal, manage your nerves and expectations so that you are as much 'yourself' as you can be. 2 years ago I met my now DH this way. It works. Good luck.

SoulSource I really hope you're joking.

SoleSource she's got a pint though if the op hasn't got kids and wants them

Not a pint, obviously

Lol !!

No I have no intention of getting pregnant but thank you anyway and yes I can see the point (and the funny side of it)!!

His profile 'requirements' were "no kids" when describing some of the things he did / did not want in a partner.

Whether or not he wants his own with someone is perhaps for a later conversation- if we have one.

MadamG thanks for your input - points noted!

TokenGinger - yes, good point too!

I'm wondering if it's appropriate to ask him if he's seeing anyone else (if I want to take things further)...?

Your jumping way ahead here. You haven't even met the man and no it's not appropriate to ask if his seeing other people! He most likely is dating other women.

Go on a date and see how it goes. But it is unlikely your meet the one on your first ever date.

Don't be too shy about suggesting to meet. I wasted so much time talking to men who had no intention of meeting me, and for all i know were already attached! Also, men i thought were great turned to be disappointing when i met them and many were also better in Real Life! I tried to use OD for introductions only, and tried to move to face to face within a week or so, as it stopped me from getting over invested in a dream stranger. I realise that some people like the security it offers, but if you are not one of these people, get meeting up!

Make sure the date is low key and time limited so that you can leave if its boring or awkward. Coffee is perfect.

Its really difficult when you like someone, but try to force yourself to be pragmatic and calm. If you're not already, try chatting to someone else online so that you don't put all your eggs in the one basket.

He needs to impress you, as much as you impressing him.

Once you get beyond the first meeting, it will be just the same as any date that you met anywhere. Having mailed a few times gives you a bit of prior info too so you should have an idea already of the kind of person he is. You will know soon enough if it's worth pursuing.
I've been married for nearly 4 years to my match date and we have a beautiful 5 year old!