Brief history. 5 years ago living abroad had a relationship for 2 years, all perfect but ended for reasons we both agree now we weren't ready at 28 enough to deal with me staying permanently and there were personal family issues on his side. Upshot was I left came back to UK got over it, got career and bought house. Moved on with other relationship and started small business in the area I lived overseas as hobby business which I still do now mainly online. Allowed self a peek on fb once a year but nothing else.
Then wham! 8 weeks ago out of nowhere a message from the ex. The usual messages, moved to Skype and constant communication. He said miss you, want to see you, want to start afresh, has his life sorted business wise, just bought house etc etc so this goes on, starts to involve many feelings. A week ago had enough, called his bluff let's say. Advised was arriving Saturday for few days. He freaked out totally, said worried about what happen after and scared to get close. Devastated doesn't cover it as now totally in over my head.
So not one to sit wondering. Monday took plane and went there. Evening knocked on door and surprised him. All good, said was surprise of his life, so happy to see me, couldn't believe it, thought he was dreaming etc
Then crunch... At wknd he'd seen ex girfriend who broke up before 3 months and she coming Tues (yesterday). Ok not ideal. He looked very stressed and kept saying why was you didn't come last week it would be a different situation and he's massively confused. We had great evening, discussed many things and personal things. I stayed over all great!
Morning comes stress reappears. We talk I ask him for truth. We clarify. Do you have a girlfriend/in a relationship? no
But there is a girl arriving today and she wants to stay and work for summer. (Did not mention last part before). He doesn't know what to do, he's confused, kept saying the timing is bad. I said ok this changes stuff, I will delete everything, I'm leaving and you don't see me again. He said please give him some time, I said no I don't want to be in contact if you are not alone, he said no you are correct. He said problem is it took me 2 years to get over you and in period from then to the point 2 months ago I contacted you I think of you often. He said I always think of you in harbour, in your beautiful dresses, so elegant. I said don't worry I'm leaving later either back to UK or I go to friends in another town for few days, and I don't regret I came. He wouldn't let me go kept hugging/kissing me saying I cant believe you are real. Went to get me an umbrella and I whilst out of room I left the house, he came running after me, don't leave like this.
2 hours later I hear from him. Where are you going? I don't say. He so happy I came but extremely stressed, you are amazing, such bad timing, we keep contact and we see what happens, can't promise more at moment. I said I meant what I said yesterday, I don't want to be thinking of you if you are not thinking of me, is pointless and hurtful. I said I'm here in 6 weeks with my business, not asking for anything just informing you. He Said I understand. I am always thinking of you, even more now, I need you to be happy and time will show what happen for us.
We will keep in contact if I want.
I didn't reply that yet.
I showered, changed, looked fabulous, went for a coffee out and left for my friends house. Nothing since.
So I have some business and then I will fly home. Now I'm not near airport, I feel i want to go back where he is, stay there a night alone before I leave just to be close by. For sure in 6 weeks I will pass through with a friend we will stay a night, I will be there with her, dignified, beautifully dressed like his memory but showing him I'm not pining away for him. I have very strong feelings but I will not beg him or demean myself.
Advice please, how to get my guy?
Is this one where I need to back off, how to keep memory of me alive in his head so he wants me (men need to think they in control 
) How should I play the keeping in contact, just polite/formal?? Anything I should do before I leave in couple days??