My husband and I have been married 15 years. We are both strong-minded and strong-willed. Our discussions, therefore, have always been lively and animated. Of late, however, I am getting really tired of our inability to have a conversation about anything without some level of heated discussion. Take last evening for example. I was explaining a situation in our apartment complex a friend brought up as DH is on the management committee. And instead of listening to all the details, he launches off into why he thinks our friend's perspective is wrong. His voice is raised and his tone is combative. I explain to him that I was only bringing it due to his position in the committee, it is not a personal issue to me, and we really should not be getting into an argument. He then says 'I am not arguing . . . you always complain that I raise my voice . . let's move on'. And its not an apologetic tone. He seems annoyed that I pointed out he was raising his voice. When I start to say something, he says 'let's move on . . . I take your point. Now get back to the conversation'. But for me the mood is spoiled. I cannot 'move on'. And my evening is spoiled. We manage to get through dinner with the kids. Then later he gets annoyed about my having accidentally put back a stained shirt that he had put away back in his closet. The voice is elevated again about how he told me several times about putting the shirt away in the 'giveaway' pile.
I am not sure whether I am being unreasonable or unfair. I stared meditating a few years back and have tried disengaging from getting into conversations where we end up having heated discussions that sometimes end up as an argument. I am no angel, and I can get irritable quite often. Also, I tend to get very upset when he raises his voice. I feel exhausted whenever we have to discuss something. Any advice is greatly appreciated.