Partner makes more money than me

[Erician15]

Hi guys im brand new to this so bear with me.

Me & my partner have only been living together a year and a half & I want to leave.

When I fell pregant I got made redundant from a really great job where I was making more money than him. Im now working part time & he seems to think he's better than me because he makes more money.

He gives me a hard time if I spend money & says I can't afford to look after my kids.

We have one child together and then my son lives with us too.

He's now started asking to look at the bank statements so he can see when and what im spending money on. He makes me feel like a lowlife that can't look after my kids.

Ive asked him to leave but he won't & im certainly not leaving without my kids.

Im so miserable and my self esteem is so low. Before I met him i worked so hard going to uni to have a career and things have just been unfortunate. I didn't choose to be made redundant and not make a lot of money and I just dnt no what to do. Anyone experiencing the same? I dnt know where to turn because he hates me sharing stuff like this with family and friends thanks

Oh no poor you. Can you take on some more part time work so you feel like you have more of your own money perhaps? His attitude is not OK and you do need to resolve this. Its unfair of him to treat you like this.

I think you could turn to the "emotional abuse" thread, read the links in the OP, and consider that your partner is financially and emotionally abusive.

Controlling your finances, demeaning you, and isolating you from being open and honest with your friends and family: this man is controlling and abusive.

You have done brilliantly, in your studies and your career and raising your DC. You are a fully grown, completely competent adult who can manage her own finances completely adequately. You can speak to whom you please, and tell them what you choose. Do not let him get in your head and tell you otherwise.

This man does not have your best interests at heart; he rather seems to want ou around in order to put you down and feel superior. Are you ready to end your relationship with him?

His behaviour is emotionally and financially abusive. Is the tenancy/ mortgage in your name? He would have no right to stay. Is it possible to find a new house/flat, if you have the finance?

If you left you would probably be entitled to working and child tax credits, maybe some housing benefit etc so could manage financially. Go to DirectGOV and pump in figures in their calculator - you may be surprised.

Get yourself to CAB and get some idea of what you are entitled to as a single parent.
He will need to pay you maintenance for his child as well.
Who's property is it?
Is it rented?
If so is it in both your names?
Once we have more info we can guide you better.
But as others have said this is emotional and financial abuse.
Please call Womens Aid to get some perspective on it so you understand what is happening.
And sign up to do their Freedom Programme.
What you are putting up with is NOT acceptable behaviour.

When you first got together and you were making more money, did you treat him a lot? Because it kind of sounds like he's having a tantrum that his toys have been taken away :(

Are you renting or mortgaged?
He's financially and emotionally abusive from what you say and the scary thing is he will probably ramp it up!
Can you leave with the kids at all?
Call women's aid.