No contact - two days....address it? Leave it?

[Hazelde]

I've been seeing a really good, genuine chap for six months. After a couple of months I called it off as for whatever reason I just wasn't feeling it. He was surprised, wanted to remain friends. The long and short of it is that after a few weeks we started seeing each other again - due to his persistence just to 'see where it would go'. I really wanted to give it a shot as he really is a sweetheart but there is just something missing for me. He messages daily. Morning, noon, night. This last week I noticed a change. He took longer to respond to some messages than normal. Then one day didn't respond at all. He was also supposed to come through Sat which he cancelled friday as he said he was ill (but not too ill.. Just didn't want to pass on any germs). Last two days - absolutely no messages. Obviously something is up - I can quite imagine he's fed up of chasing and me not giving much. The silence has made me realise my first decision to split was spot on as I'm just hoping he is going to call it as it will save me doing it. I guess I'm just wondering..would you address the issue (I notice no contact ... Obviously things have changed for you, Can we just remain friends) or just leave be and just assume we are off?

I would call him and say "I'm sorry but I dont feel any differently to how I did last time and letting this carry on would give you the wrong impression".

I wouldn't suggest being friends unless he raises it.

Why would you contact ? You want to call it off. He hasn't contacted for one of two reasons. A, he hopes the silence will bring attention and prove you care or B, he has given up. Either way, contacting would give him the impression you want to continue whereas silence will pass on the exact message you intend.

He's met someone else I expect.
You didn't want him, stop yanking the chain! Of course leave him be. If you really only want him as a friend, it's not unusual at all for friends not to be in daily contact.

He may have been unable to contact you for many reasons but my guy reaction is he has dumped you.

If you call him and say what you suggest he will probably assume you are in a panic and wanted to get a response. He will think you are playing games. Just leave it be. If he contacts you then tell him.

Gosh, what do you want from this man? You're not interested and have let him know this but are upset he isn't pursuing you like a man possessed.

I'm not upset. I was just wondering whether to address it or leave it. I'm more vocal - I prefer things to be said out in the open - I wouldn't just stop contacting someone. We aren't in a relationship - we were just seeing where things went. That said it looks like he has made the decision that he doesn't want to continue with that and as per advice ... I will just leave it alone.

Yes, just ignore. He may be trying to get a reaction out of you, so he might call or text when he gets fed up with waiting for you to react: that's when you say to him, look matey this isn't working for me. Goodbye and good luck.

Or he might have been really ill and died, of course....

In my experience it usually means you have been replaced. Men don't seem to pine for long and there seems to be a steady supply of women to take on the baton. Doesn't seem to work the other way though!