Feeling like shit, sad & bloody alone

[Feelinghelpless2]

I've posted before, but to cut a long story short my DS has just moved out to his Dad's after months of conflict. I'm in tears and all my DH can go on about is the fact ive not got his key back! He's stormed off, DS just moved out and im left here alone. Feel like shit :-( why hasn't my DH comforted me when I need him most? So upset with it all...

Op

Was your son the one who refused to help around the house despite being in his 20s?

If it's you then I'm sure you have done the right thing. Please don't blane your dh. Your son was being disrespectful to both of you and even though he knew it was causing problems for you and your marriage he still dug his heels in.

Apologies if this isn't you!

Yes it's me. I've just re-read my post to remind myself of the problems. I just can't believe my DH hasn't comforted me when I need him the most. He just thinks that yet again I've put my DD first and not him by getting his key back. My son hugged me when he left, said things will be better now & said he loved me. That just breaks my heart as why couldn't he more sensible and mature before now. Feel heart broken. Thank you so much for replying x

DS not DD

I don't think you should feel too upset that your DS has moved out especially if you've had months of conflict. Perhaps when things have calmed down a bit you and your DH will enjoy having some space? At least you know won't have to worry about your son too much if he's living with his dad. Hopefully your DH will give you a hug when he returns home and you can have a nice evening together.

I'm sure we will, but I feel I've chosen my DH over my DS :-( I know he'll be ok at his Dad's, just worry whether he'll be happy. I miss him already. My DH never backs down, that'll be it until tomorrow night now. So I'll be going to bed sad and fed up too

I know your son will always be your baby but he's in his twenties and you are entitled to a life of your own. Remember that!

Time to cut the apron strings and let go! Enjoy!

I know your right and if it had of been under happier circumstances I would have been a little sad but happy for him. I feel like I've pushed him out, just wish he could have respected the few house rules we had. And with my DH buggering off in a mood I just give up. Feel broken :-(

It sounds as if your son had some serious lessons to learn so perhaps moving out will do him some good. It's not as if you've lost him forever is it? He knows he's loved and you will always be there for him so you mustn't feel guilty. You never know it might even improve your relationship! Why don't you phone him next week and ask him if he wants to go out for a pizza? Your relationship with your son will change because it has to but you will never stop loving each other.

Yes I know you very right. I just need to move on from how I'm feeling now, I've just text him and he says he's happy. I've now got to tell ppl he's moved to his Dads, feel embarrassed if I'm honest

So DH is back and still very angry, he's going to sleep in the spare room. I totally give up with it all. Just so confused with everything :-((

I think your DH is a bit of an arse tbh, even if your DS has been a pain.

Ignore your DH and when he decides he wants to speak, give him a stern talking to and tell him you're not putting up with his pathetic behaviour.

Yes I think he is. He is annoyed as it all revolves around my DS again. But what about me? I need him to be there for me. Is that self centured?

Nope, not self centred at all. Does your DH have any children of his own?

Your DH sounds like an arse!

Can you get yourself some counselling to sort out your feelings, and what you really want.

It will be fine about your son. He's old enough to have moved out anyway. I am often surprised that friends children are still living at home in their 20s.

But your DH being unable to think about you or your feelings, that sounds like more of a problem.

I know - I just feel lost. My son was a total pain in the arse but I miss him so much, so pathetic when he's 22 and an adult.