Still miss husband

[Marmaladedandelions]

Why? It's so stupid.

He was absolutely awful to me and it was affecting the children, yet I still miss him.

I am so very lonely and I do really struggle with this.

Anyone else? :)

Sorry, yes, very early days: just a couple of months.

Marmalade that's a good idea. I tend to remember one bad situation at a time, and then think 'oh yes, it wasn't so bad, I can see why he was so annoyed etc'. But put it all together and it was horrific. I'll try writing the notes.

Is it him you miss or the companionship in general? I panic about financially raising the DC alone, and bizarrely, not having anyone to come on holiday with us. So I think I miss having someone, rather than him. Even though it was him I loved.

When did you leave him?

February, so not long at all.

I just get so lonely. It's isolated here and of course, I don't really have any friends (thanks, DH!)

Taken the children away for a few days and happy families are everywhere. Of course, we probably looked like that on the surface.

Allow yourself time to grieve Marmalade.

I didn't have children when I left a long term relationship so it's hard to compare our positions. However I found it took several years to accustom myself to not being with him. It took counselling, a couple of marathons and joining lots of new clubs to find normality. After 3 years and finally accepting my situation and myself, I met my current partner. I'm now expecting and very happy.

You will find happiness again. Just take your time.

Seeing other happy families is very difficult I agree. I keep reminding myself that what we had was not a happy family. It was something very different and the family and normality I am pining for didn't actually exist.

I have been reading more. Something to keep my mind occupied in the evenings when children are asleep. I find that helps a lot.

Congratulations zampa

I adore my children but this pregnancy is very difficult and it makes me sad as obviously people think I'm just another mum to be.

Namechanger, that resonates with me.

My DH moved out in February too. I was fine initially but have crashed in the past week. I think it's the Easter break that has done it, all those happy families!! I don't miss my DH, but I miss having somebody around. The house seems very quiet without him.

So I can't offer you any advice from the other side, just to let you know you aren't alone.

I too had a lovely life...on the outside. Breaks away, meals, cinema, holiday homemole ough money,lovely kids, grandkids.

I now have all of this ....and no twat of a husband.

Just a lovely man who would go down with his ship than subjugate me to what I went through.

It didn't happen overnight. I had to wait for him to be free but I had a blast while he was trying to find me.

Just remember, there a lovely man out there with your name on him .

My divorce came through at the end of April and we met in July. We were mid fifties and been together nearly 7 years.

Life has been great.

There was three of us . All cheated upon. One got married two years ago, I'm getting married this year and my other friends DP would marry her tomorrow but she still likes her independence.

None of us were spring chickens either.

You see what you think are happy families.

Lots are,some aren't.

We don't know what people are putting up with behind clothes doors and are putting a face on for the kids.

I look at my notes I made when I was in the depths of despair. I wrote that I felt like I was drowning without my rock ( him) to cling onto.

Now, I laugh and think you loser. I'm talking about me. They are so cringeworthingly awful. Thank god igot that out of my system. Reading that little lot I would have left me!

But then my torturer would leave me little notes saying, I do love you and ihope I can find my way back to you, no doubt while he was shagging the other woman senseless.

You'll look back and laugh. Honestly!

There was a little bit on Women's Hour this morning about heartbreak and resolution. Lighthearted but supportive. I would recommend listening back to it.

Thanks :) I feel a bit better today. Had an incredible day out with the children.

I can do this.

Yes you can! The weather is great in the UK at the moment, assuming you are based here, its a good time to get out and about and live your life happy!

We are actually on holiday but still in the UK best of both worlds I suppose :)

That sounds good - its a brill time to be away! Hope your children had fun

Thank you :)

It's defimitely nights that are hardest. I think I'm over wanting him back. I just feel a bit lost, somehow, and very, very alone.

How are you doing OP?

Im having a tough time after a lovely day out with the DC, I think this is a process of highs and lows!

I hope you are well x