My friend is having an affair............

[Northerner]

She doesn't know I know. Should I say something? I want to but my dh says I should stay out of it and it's nothing to do with me. She is married with a ds and he is in a long term relationship with a baby.

I can't believe she is doing this and it will be really hard to bite my tongue, so I'll probably have to avoid her.

Advice appreciated.

Thanks for that everyone. Esp Geordiegirl.

Think I will say something to her.

Northerner be careful though if they get though this affair then you could be tarred as the baddy - belive me it does happen - shoot the messenger as they say!!

I just want to warn her that I know and I think I'll feel better for it. But you're right, the s**t could hit the fan.

From another perspective - my friend found out that mutual friends had known about her DHs affair for about 8 months before she found out. She feels really betrayed by them - she feels if she had known sooner things might have worked out differently - she's have tackled him about it before it had been going on too long. She was pregnant and not giving him much attention. Not sure what I'd have done in their shoes think I'd have tld him to tell her or they would by a certain date.....but easy when you're not in the situation to say that of course...

Northerner, remember you've done nothing wrong,if you are telling your friend that you know for the right reasons ie because you care for her and are worried about where she may end up in this situation then it is upto her what she does with your knowledge. The last thing she will want is unrequested opinions. However
you cann't undo knowledge! Hope it works out.

good point Jim

Northerner, I think whatever you do you need to cross-check with Laura, who is also implicted and in some senses in an even worse position that you as she is aquaintences with the 'wronged' woman. It would also be hard to tell without disclosing - or even revealing by deduction - that Laura must have told YOU.

Laura has no issues with me talking to Caroline about it. It won't affect my fiendship with Laura at all. In fact if Laura was to bump into Caroine in town (which COULD happen)Laura would give her a piece of her mind.