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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP's increased sex drive

20 replies

ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 08:45

Firstly, sorry if this post is TMI or inappropriate.
DP and I have been together for 2 years and have a 7 month old. We've always had a healthy sex drive, we have it almost every day, I'd have it more but I have a much higher sex drive Blush
DP has always been quite a selfish lover (no fore play and never gives oral etc but expects it for himself). He told me a few weeks back that he always feels really horny when he's feeling depressed and the last week he's just suddenly completely changed in bed, not only does he want it every second of the day but he's doing the foreplay and oral all the time and is overall much better in bed! Since being together he's never given me an orgasm but this week he's given me 2 already. I'm not complaining cos I'm really enjoying it but I'm a bit worried that he may be depressed after what he told me. Plus it's a bit strange that after 2 years he's suddenly changed how he does things...

OP posts:
ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 09:00

Healthy sex life*

OP posts:
IDismyname · 06/04/2015 09:02

Hmmm... Are there any other clues...? It seems very strange...

Only1scoop · 06/04/2015 09:04

Very odd

ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 09:08

Not really, I know he's feeling down cos he's in an ongoing court battle to see his other 3 children from a previous relationship but has been for the last 2 years so I don't think it's that cos he's only changed the last week or so.
We had a big row last week and in the morning I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore (I didn't mean it, I was just angry, it's the last thing I want) but it seems to be since that row, not sure if that has anything to do with it

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 06/04/2015 09:12

Could have I suppose but to go from completely 'selfish lover' overnight is quite extreme.

I'm a little cynical.... several new trix around the bedroom have in the past been clues to affairs in my case.

ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 09:15

Hmm I dunno, I trust him, I don't think that's the case, plus he's been more loving towards me, I would have thought he would be more distant if that was the case

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VeniceByDay · 06/04/2015 09:28

Why would you want to be with someone who is selfish in bed and never previously gave you an orgasm?

ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 09:31

The sex is good regardless of not having an orgasm, plus it's not all about sex is it, he's a wonderful partner in all other aspects

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Twinklestein · 06/04/2015 09:33

I find it hard to understand why you'd want to be with a selfish lover in the first place, but given that y'are, it sounds like he's pulling all the stops out to keep you after you threatened to end it.

I've no idea whether he's learnt the new stuff from someone else, he may have always known how to do this stuff but couldn't be arsed.

Twinklestein · 06/04/2015 09:35

How good can it have been with no foreplay, no oral and no orgasms? Easter Confused

ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 09:38

It is good, he's rather large downstairs so it still feels good lol! The only reason I've never had an orgasm during sex is because he always finishes just before I'm about to!
I always feel much closer to him while we're having sex too

I've had millions of orgasms in my life but never during sex with anyone, the closest I've ever come to having one during sex is with him though.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 06/04/2015 09:45

'Finishes just as I'm about to'

Blimey Op if this is how it's always been I think he has some making up to do.

ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 09:52

I know lol x

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TokenGinger · 06/04/2015 10:17

Not much advice from me but just wanted to say I understand the enjoyment of sex without orgasm. I find it near impossible to orgasm. I don't know whether I am broken or whether im just not particularly orgasmic. I had one relationship where, with him, I could orgasm (he was very large) during sex. Other than that, I've only ever experienced an orgasm once before. But that doesn't take away my enjoyment of sex.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 06/04/2015 11:00

Blimey, sounds like he was a right lazy bastard in bed. I don't know why you put up with it.

Let's hope the turnaround lasts, eh.

ChickenDipper22 · 06/04/2015 19:59

I know, who knew he was really this good in bed all along eh? Hmm

OP posts:
Pinklaydee1302 · 06/04/2015 22:46

Prob just doesn't want to lose you and now showing what he capable of Smile

Men eh? Strange species...Hmm

ElizabethHoover · 06/04/2015 22:48

hmm - I would be VERY suspicious into any changed sexual behaviour

ElizabethHoover · 06/04/2015 22:49

OR he is having an affair

this is often the reason

Sallystyle · 06/04/2015 22:59

You will find that when people cheat they do actually become much more attentive in the bedroom and out.

I'm just saying that you are unfortunately wrong in thinking that people who cheat become more distant. The opposite happens more frequently I think.

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