What would you think?

[livingstondaisy]

So my DH is very particular about who he speaks to/mixes with and has a small group of friends. He says he only has 2 female friends, I know both of them well.

He works away for long periods of time which brings it's own problems.

I was on his phone a couple of weeks ago looking at pics of the children from that day and it beeped with a text from an unsaved number saying " "girls name's new number x" Obviously a generic text to all her contacts.

I didn't like this and got a bad feeling. I then looked at his Facebook contacts, she wasn't there and then twitter. They are following each other on twitter. She is only one of two people on there I don't recognise. Turns out she is a performer who has been out to where he works to perform.

My issue is this - why would she have his personal phone number unless he gave it to her? Can you private message on twitter?

I obviously have trust issues that I didn't realise before. This sounds crazy as I write it down but I just have a horrible feeling. We have previously discussed what we feel is appropriate /inappropriate.

To me it would seem that they have been chatting at an event and swapped numbers, something he wouldn't do if I was there and therefore inappropriate.

Am I reading too much into this? I need to talk to him about it but don't know if I am being a psycho driven by raging pmt.

Thank you

Am I reading too much into this? I need to talk to him about it but don't know if I am being a psycho driven by raging pmt.

Who knows, but all I can say is that in my relationship this would be a huge over-reaction. If I saw this message come through I certainly wouldn't give it a second thought after presuming it was a colleague (I don't keep track of their names). If I did give it a second thought I wouldn't start looking at his social media stuff. I'd just ask him.

Sorry, the point of all that is to say, either way, you two need to talk. Either he's flying close to the wind and you have good reason not to trust him or you don't trust him when you should.

What kind of performer is she OP? Yes, you can pm on Twitter.

Thank you.
It is just so out of character for him to make new friends far less female ones.

Due to him being absent with work for such long periods of time it plays tricks with my mind and I do have trust issues (caused by previous relationships).

He has not ever given me any reason to mistrust him but part of this is because he hardly ever is in contact with females so that is why this seems so strange.

There is no reason for her to have his personal phone number. Although she was performing at his work there would be no need for him to be in touch with her before during or after.

Due to him being away so much we do have very clear outlines of what we feel comfortable with and swapping numbers definitely is not acceptable.

Are you going to talk to him?

Is there a possibility he was involved in sorting out her attendance at the work event? If so she could have his number from that and then just sent a message to all her contact.

My gut feeling on this is overreaction.

It sounds like it could be perfectly innocent. I think you should talk to him.

You probably need to speak to him. In my line of work (academia) there are lots of people I work with who don't need to have my mobile number. It's a private number, paid for by me so it's not like it's a work number for all to get in touch with.

But for various reasons I have had to give it to a few people. Some include my boss (but he's only recently had to have it as he needed to ring me whilst I was outside of my office), and some students. These are mature older students, some of whom are my age or near my age so I don't think they will abuse it. And they've had v good reason to have my number.

They've never abused it or shared it, so fingers crossed they never will!