King of procrastination - fed up with it

[Toomuchteababy]

Not sure if I'm
Going to even post this but here goes -

DP this weekend has spent two whole fucking days watching football or playing it. In the mean time I've been running round clearing up after him and dd2. I seem to fall in this pattern of fucking waiting on him as because his fat arse is rooted to the spot he will say "can you just get me.." As I'm up I tebd to do it it till I snap, like I have done now.

For weeks we have been planning stuff for this weekend. As every weekend he is 'just nipping here' or 'just watching this match' so come Sunday night none of the things that needed doing are done and it gets pushed on to 'next week' and the same happens again. Yesterday he watched football ALL day. I told him he wasn't doing that again as it not fair. He promised he wouldn't then his dad and nephew came round and I reminded him about his promise and he just shrugged. Football in again. I started shifting shit in the garden and he came out and helped gor two mins and said I've still got to do XYZ yet - leave this till Tomoro and I'll do the lot' so I did. Then I went back in to the kitchen and carried on cooking a Sunday roast - like a twat.

I just asked him what the plan was for tomoro, meaning XYZ and he said he was gonna go work.

So Ive just had a massive go at him. He is lazy, really lazy. He won't help around the house unless I ask him and then if he does somthing it's half arsed.He doesn't give two shits what he looks like. His excuse for no at least wearing clean clothes outside 'it's not a fashion show' . He has put five stone on and is breathing out of his arse just running up the stairs. He doesn't get picked to play in his team any more because he is so unfit. I have to remind him to brush his teeth because if I don't I find it embarrassing when his teeth look grey. His mum still treats him like the ten year old that used to play in the woods at the back of her house! 'Full of muck but 'appy'

He says he wants to lose weight, hates being this big but after a week at the gym he makes excuses. Two weeks he has not been yet the £45 has come out of our bank account so that's just another waste of money.

He is not normally this bad but this weekend has took the piss. It's been beautiful and I've say about and done fuck all waiting for him.

When I shouted at him I asked him why it was acceptable for him to treat me like some one that just fucking works here rather than his PARTNER. He said it wasn't. Sat there like a ten year old.

He needs to grow up - fast. I'm ready to walk. I don't fancy him anymore even though I DO love him. It's not the weight that's puttung me off its his inability to be proactive on any thing and behaving like a tired teenager all the time. I need help fixing this .

Bump

That does sound bloody frustrating.
Could u go out tomorrow and stay somewhere, like family. Come back .tues night and say that was a taster of what would happen if he doesn't pull his socks up?
Don't wait around for him. If you have made plans, go ahead without him.
Do you mean he doesn't clean his teeth all the time or just when at home? What kind of work does he do - people will notice lack of hygiene.
Could he be depressed?

For the next few weekends, make plans. Be unavailable. Enjoy yourself. Visit friends. Visit family. Go for a spa treatment.

If he doesn't miss you being around and sees it as an opportunity just to watch football, then maybe it's a lost cause. But if you not being around makes him see sense, then job well done.

When I was a teenager my mum got so sick of me watching tv and not doing what I was supposed to do that she pulled the tv plug out of the socket and and cut it in half. Now it sucks that he's acting like a kid and that you have to be the only adult right now but I think you need to take drastic action. If he acts like a kid he gets treated like a kid. His actions don't seem to be coming from a bad place, rather he seems immature.

Thank you for replies .

I planned to speak to him this morning about it as I slept in another room last night. And it all just came out wrong. Said I didn't want to go on like this but nothing ever changes. He said "What do you want to split up? So I said 'well what's the point? You clearly dont respect me" he said - fine. And went of to work. That's about the short and tail of it , oh with s little biggest of " maybe I should give work up and you go to work" that was in response to him not lifting a finger in the house .

I actually don't care now

:(

Lazy people are usually lazy their whole lives, poor attitude on his part to do the whole we should split when you call him on his behaviour. Shows he is very immature. It could be for the best, give you a chance to meet someone else.

How many years have you been running around after him like this?

The answer to "can you just get me" is "No".

There are plenty of things you can do to help yourself if you want to before you have to leave.

Stop doing anything for him at all. Tell him that you want a serious discussion and ask him when he is free to do that. Book it in both your diaries. Don't let him back out of it. This has to be faced head on.

Back again.

He came back from work and is now mowing the garden.

We have been together five years. Before that I was in my own with dd1 for 15 years and and was very self reliant. So when d'p moved in he probally just took a bike seat and enjoyed the ride.

He never had to lift a finger at his mothers, his clothes just got picked up, no responsibilities, food magically appeared and I supposed I just slipped in to her role. When his mother is here she even runs around this house making sure every one has what they need. The last time we were sitting down to eat, she had served FIL,DP,BIL, GDC then me last as she was about to sit down she asked every one if the had anything and DP piped up with 'could do with a drink' and she bloody got up and got one for him! As she was getting up I told DP he should be ashamed of him self . He said " oh my mum lives it"! And she started laughing! But the worst thing is im fucking doing it now!!

He will come in later apologise and pull his socks up for a short while. Then it will gradually go back to taking the piss.

It sounds like his mum has brought him up to think he has no responsibilities and can just live as an entitled man-child forever. Does she run around after his dad a lot?

He never had to lift a finger at his mothers, his clothes just got picked up, no responsibilities, food magically appeared and I supposed I just slipped in to her role.

This is what I thought OP. Why have you been doing that all these years?

It's got nothing to do with his mum, it's you that is enabling this lifestyle.

Have you spoken to him about having a big chat to sort it all out?

pocket she did. Mil and FIL have just devorced BUT if we are all together she still runs Round after him - it's like she relishes it.

eggy I know I am now. He has done all the jobs he promised for weeks he would do and is now cooking dinner. He is very capable when he wants to be.

When dd2 goes to bed later we will have a chat. He knows how much he would lose if we split up its just I hate the fact I've had to wave it in front of his face to shock him.

Thanks for replies

eggy I just did more of my fair share because it was quicker or I just got on with it. But when he is sat on his arse for two days it really brings it home that he is taking the piss