Best/funny examples of people 'projecting'...

[KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon]

People projecting both fascinates and amuses me.

SiL is the best one for it. Another thread made me think about it.

She's a hoarder. A proper hoarder. Can't chuck stuff out, thinks everything is sellable or worth something even when it's plainly rubbish, and her house is piled high.

Yet when she visits the first thing she says every time is "You have too many DVDs/CDs/Games." and looks in despair at them all neatly lined up and alphabetised on shelves purchased for them and in no way impacting our lives or getting in our way.

We have hundreds of books too. Also on shelves but not alphabetised, they're in genres. But she never mentions them. Possibly because books are a large part of her hoard.

She's also single. Nothing wrong with that. Doesn't appear to fancy any men she meets. Again, nothing wrong with that. Has an extensive list of criteria any man she dates must have - no man has ever met these criteria so she's been single the entire time I've known her. Again, totally up to her. Why not wait for the perfect person? Good for her.

However, she tells me at least once during every visit that I look like 'a lady who likes ladies'. It's because of my uber-comfy DM boots.

Not that I give a shite, I'm quite happy in my lesbian shoes. But I do wonder if that's another little 'projection'?

I'm sure there's others. I'll have a think.

But was wondering if anyone else had any tales to tell?

Its a useful concept (within moderation) when someone annoys me I try to (at some point) think about whether what's annoying meis a fault of my own.

But it can be funny, in others.

My mother emigrated without saying goodbye (after a massive strop because I didn't want to talk to her after her total character assassination of me and years of being an arch cow bag). But apparently I walked away. actually that's not so much projection as sheer batshit craziness.

Oh gosh yes.

The time I was told I had behaved like "a complete cow" to someone no longer in my life for doing absolutely nothing.

This was after enduring years of poor treatment from the person in question.

(Friends have assured me I'm not and that this was projection.)

The emigrating mother wins the thread.

oh dear, did my emigrating batshit mother kill the thread?

When I was a kid, we'd go to see "friends of the family". On the way home in the car, my mother would slag them and their house off. All the way home. When anyone came to her house, when they left she'd go on for ages about how "they were jealous of her and her lovely house, because they were looking at all her lovely things." WTF?

She moans about my sister talking too much, behind her back. You can't even get a sentence out without my mother interrupting though. Then continuing to talk LOUDLY, so you just give up, and let her dominate all conversation.

I have a sneaking suspicion she could be a narcissist...

After 'looking after exh' while potless and homeless...which impacted on me and dc's to the point we had to find somewhere else to live.....told it was about time I stood on my own two feet.....

This is a great thread. There is someone I know who looks stressed and says 'calm down' in an appalled tone if I look even slightly irritated by something e.g. I frowned at the remote control because it wasn't working. This is someone who has terrible road rage and storms out if you confront them about anything.

Ha Sally I think I'm a bit like that . I'm generally very stressy but if DH gets stressed it drives me mad! I think it's because I like him to be the calm, rational one

Then for your DH's sake WinIt, and I mean this kindly, please try not to project. It's horrible always being the calm one and we calm ones need support too ;).

My Mum dominates conversations with talk of other people telling lies about their age. This is the person who told me they were five years younger than they are. I discovered the truth by viewing their passport.

My hard-drinking, coke-snorting brother: Garlic wouldn't have "ME/CFS" if she laid off the booze and cur down her medication.

XH2: You've never done anything for charity in your life! (This was such a blatant projection, it did light up a bulb for me.) He constantly accused me of cheating on him, too - guess what!

Not long ago, I heard myself advising my sister - again - that her anxiety spoils her enjoyment of things, and she ought to find ways to reduce it. Then I remembered that I'm the one taking pills for anxiety

Ha, MyArks! My mother does that too.

Why?

I am bordering between her having narcissistic tenancies to maybe OCD or being on the ASD spectrum.

Her other hobbies include finding random people in crowds who remind her of random people in her life and going on and on dominating conversations if she is not satisfied at the heat or strength of food and drink. Think too hot curry spice wise, too cold temperature food or tea.

Great thread.

With me, it is my sister.

My Sister and I were having dinner with friends. I was happily tucking into my food and she turned to one friend and said 'Remember me telling you that she eats more than me, look she does'. I was .

I am a size 8 and she is a size 22.

At least Winit was honest, Sally.

We all project/transfer. She had the awareness to realise she was doing it.

Thanks Rubbish .
I am aware I'm doing it and will do my best to stop.

My ex used to shout at me that I was controlling and wanted everything my way. Then to prove the point he'd stonewall me for a week thus bullying me into backing down on whatever the initial disagreement was about. I used to think "am I controlling?? Am I? Do I want it all my way???" They mess with your head these toxic people.

My sister-in-law, who is the archetypal slightly batty artist, parked up in front of the local cafe where the regular arts and crafts group were meeting.

'Oh', said she, 'it's the arty farty people'.

Clearly she doesn't put herself in the same category.