I wrote a big spiel and then it said I had to log on to post so .... here we go again. I'm really on here to try and occupy my racing head and stop crying. My 16 year old has left to go to her father's and might not be coming back. I know to say this makes me sound but bitter but he isn't really interested in her, phones sporadically, let's her down constantly and switches his phone off constantly so that no one can reach him. She and I argued earlier in the week and she was asked to submit the cellphone I pay for, she refused so I wrestled it off her- wrong I know. It ended with her calling me a f**g b**h and pathetic. Since then I have tried to talk to her, apologised for my part in it and discuss a way forward but she won't back down. Since she went to high school there have been problems, constant lateness to the extent she us facing being kicked out at the summer, that's what started the fight as she refuses to act responsibly. Her guidance teacher told me her attitude stinks as she is failing to take responsibility for deadlines. She refuses to consider any other career than dentistry despite getting mostly c at prelims and continuing to only study when forced. I push her to study as i have tried asking her to be realistic and consider other less academic career paths , I don't care what she does as long as it's something! I pay for a tutor at her request so I don't think it's unreasonable to ask her to do a bit of work. She has had every opportunity, guitar, piano lessons, gymnastics and dropped them all with little care. She wanted to go to 2 dance schools despite me warning it would be a lot of commitment and happily let me pay but goes when it suits her. I too her to London for her birthday at the weekend and it was obvious she really didn't appreciate the money and effort put in. basically she doesn't aseem to appreciate anything. I'm not rich, I'm a nurse who works extra shifts for these luxuries and I go without. I go to work and I come home to look after her and I really don't do much else if it doesn't involve her! Her dad is delighted. He blames me and says her problems are all down to my working and not being there! Nothing to do with his absences for large chdunks if her life or letting her down at the last minute, I have spoiled her but I only tried to give what I could and I thought it would help her in life. He has a bad temper and beat me when we argued and I worry what will happen when they clash. We spit up as he refused to work regularly and wouldn't back down and it just feels like history repeating except I cannot imagine my daughter that I love with all my heart turning away from me. I have cried so much over this and have palpitations every time I stop typing. I'm so scared for her future and feel this is going to lead to disaster for her. I told her to stay away until she is ready to compromise so I have made this happen and now I suffer! But how could I allow it either? I wish she was 10 again as I know I would do it all completely differently. Sorry to go on so much. X