asian matrimonial / dating sites

[majserves]

Hi everyone,

What do you think, should I use Asian matrimonial site to find myself a partner?

has anyone used erishta.com?
any comments?

best wishes to all.

So you are a racist then?

Its an odd question to ask strangers but i suppose go for it...i don't see why you have to ask?

Nor am i sure why shes racist?!

Today has been such a confusing day on mumsnet.

Is this an Advert?

Chillyegg - if you rule out having a relationship with someone based solely on their race, colour, creed or religion. You are a racist.

Turn the equation around, if I went on a site that not allowed only White Anglo Saxon Protestants would I be racist?

Do you think the same of people who use Christian dating websites (religion) or Guardian Soulmates (class!)?

Anyhow, I know someone who didn't have a lot of joy finding someone on one but you never know.

What is important to you in a partner?

Was that a question to me MrsTP?
Yes absolutely, I feel strongly about this. My example was practically a Christian example.

As I said If someone rules out having a relationship with another person solely because they are black, white, poor, Christian, Muslim, Jew etc. Then they are "ist" of some form and this makes the world a sadder place.

It was DrMorbius. I think there is a difference between saying you would never consider a relationship with, for example, a person of colour and seeking a relationship with someone who shares some cultural and religious background.

After traveling 5000 miles I've ended up marrying someone who, although their nationality, accent and upbringing is different to mine, shares my family's background. It does mean we have a shorthand and our families find each other easier.

I've had relationships with people that don't follow that pattern but pretending that people don't find things easier when they share a culture is a bit silly.

MrsTP - it's all quasi racism to me, rolled up in a cultural context.

i think it is easier to say what is not bring said rather than what is being said in your example. By saying I would prefer (and by prefer I mean pursue) a relationship with someone who shares some cultural and religious background. You are discounting everyone who us not of your background.

Of course it's easier, to have a relationship with someone similar. But when you discount non similar it's racism, however close to home that may be.

I don't know if you were on the other thread a while ago, when there was a poster saying that she would NEVER consider dating anyone of colour. I was of the opinion that that was absolutely racism. Discounting entire swaths (in fact the vast majority) of the population because of a very arbitrary filter of their wildly varying skins colour is racism.

However, I think seeking a relationship online, people tend to filter possible dates for all sorts of reasons. Income, height, religion... Unless the OP is saying she wouldn't consider anyone unless they were a certain race, I'm not sure it is racism.

As well, I would have issues marrying someone deeply religious. I wouldn't raise my children in a religion so how can I marry someone who would want to. Is that prejudiced or practical? No issue marrying, for example, a non-observant person of another religion. So if you are very observant, why would you want to date me? Possibly the OP is.

Discounting one person because of their race is racism.

I said "ism" because obviously saying I would not go out with a poor person is obviously not racism per se, but is equally odious.

I do not follow any main stream religion, but surely part of the "dating process" is to find common ground between people. If there is no common ground or certain major issues, isn't that the filter process we use to discount would be partners??

Oh FFS!

DrMorbius - Stop being a tosser.

Do you know how much pressure young Asian girls are under nowadays? Do you know how many young girls are still forced in to marriage?

We can all scream equal rights as much as we want, but culture and religion overrides that so much. A young woman should not be deemed racist because she's had culture and religion drilled in to her for life. The mere fact a woman is looking to go on a dating site is actually sometimes considered a risk, breaking away from the "norm".

Also, having a preference is also not racist. I am a white female. My preference is black men. But I am not racist - I have dated Indian men, white men, Eastern europeon guys.