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Original poster

Feel fed up with amount of time DP spends on his phone

29 replies

ZombieZoo · 01/04/2015 23:45

My DP is always on his iPhone. I find it really irritating. He's on it when he's rocking baby to sleep by walking round. He's on it when I'm trying to talk to him, in the evenings, when bathing DCs. I can't think of a time when he's not on it. When I ask him what he's doing he always makes out its something to do with me or buying a tent on eBay or researching where we can holiday this summer.
Does anyone else's DP spend so much time browsing the net on iPhone and if so how do you deal with it. We are currently sleeping in separate rooms due to co sleeping with baby and him getting enough sleep. ButI know he'll be on it til late in his bed too.

OP posts:
mumto3beautys · 02/04/2015 00:53

my boyf is constantly on his phone! even when were not together and chatting to eaxh other on the phone hes not listening as has me on speaker phone and I can hear him tap tapping as he "googles" or messages someone else....its very paranoia inducing but then hes a twat in lots of ways so I don't believe for a min hes googling football scores!
does your dp do anything else to make you feel that his reasons for being on his phone so much arent genuine???

Milllli · 02/04/2015 01:01

Have a look at his phone and see for yourself what he is looking at.

UnderEstherMate · 02/04/2015 01:08

I am your DP in this situation. My DP has been getting irritated by it recently so I have tried to gut down, but it's just habit! I'm either looking at MN or responding to a WhatsApp or Googling the lyrics to a song I've forgotten. It's a bad habit to reach for my phone when my hands are idle...

Beaglebaby · 02/04/2015 03:17

I posted on another thread like this. Can you both introduce a family-wide ban on phones during times when you should all be interacting? I.e. Mealtimes, when playing with (or just with) DC and so on?

rockybalboa · 02/04/2015 07:23

I'm always on my phone. MN, FB, Whats App, email, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter. I waste hours on the bloody thing. But if DH asked me to stop and pay him more attention then I would respect that.

ambientolf · 02/04/2015 07:36

Yep, my DP could have written your post. He's always complaining that im always on my phone! Im never doing anything I'm particular it's just a sad habit!

I think I need to stop Easter Blush

Vivacia · 02/04/2015 08:31

Christ. What do you see in these men? They sound like children.

Drew64 · 02/04/2015 10:39

Vivacia - By that reasoning you would tar the women as well as the men that have posted on this thread with the 'children' brush would you?

Just for clarity?

shovetheholly · 02/04/2015 10:44

My DH is the same. In his case, he is always working and it is the emails that he is checking. I wake up at 3am and he will be emailing someone about something that really could wait until the morning. It's not good, because it means he's never away from work, and it contributes to increase his stress levels. I have raised it very gently, but it doesn't have much effect and I really worry that he's hurting his mental health acting like this. He knows I am bothered by it so he now just tries to do it surreptitiously but not very well so when I go to the loo in the pub, he will whip it out. He is very good about apologising when I pull a face, though.

Drew64 · 02/04/2015 10:50

Oh...Both my DW and myself can sit on the sofa during the evening with our noses stuck in our phones, It's quaite an antisocial part of the modern world.
If it's excessive, and it's obviously bothering you do you think he would respond if you had a word about it?

Snowberry86 · 02/04/2015 10:54

Don't check his phone!!! It is a huge invasion of his privacy!

Both my and my DH spend a lot of time on one phones doing a variety of things. Sometimes we agree to put the phones down to spend some time together but the majority of the time it isn't an issue.

Original poster
ZombieZoo · 02/04/2015 12:47

Thanks for replies. I should have said in post im not concerned about OW at all. When I say he relates it to me it's so he can get away with looking as I have bought it up and he's defensive about it. We got together 7 years ago and did not have a phone to stare at then so it wasn't a problem when finding him attractive.
It is part of the modern world isn't it. I've started saying lets have Friday nights no phone night.well see how friday goes.
If I say lets have a day out and start discussing where he's straight away googling. I do love MN on my phone butI feel there's time and place

OP posts:
Quitelikely · 02/04/2015 13:42

This is me! I'm sure I'm addicted Blush I did say to my do that I wish I never got an iPhone in the first place as Im never off it!

Quitelikely · 02/04/2015 13:43

Dh not do! Doh!

BlueDressingGown · 02/04/2015 14:34

DH and I are both quite addicted to our phones. I am trying to cut down but he doesn't see it as a problem. It REALLY bothers me when the kids are trying to interact with him and he's on his phone. I'm not as bad as that. I'd love to just get rid, though, but it does make running my business so much easier...

GoadyFuckAaargh · 02/04/2015 14:35

modern life now isn't it?

the days when a couple woukd sit at breakfast both reading the newspaper, now couples are reading their phones.

DP and I both spend a lot of time on our phones, I think it's down to the accessibility factor of everything online and also what a pp said about idle hands.

good idea to agree a no screen time period in your household.

Vivacia · 02/04/2015 14:49

Yes drew a person glued to their phone whilst talking to someone is acting like a child who doesn't know better. In my opinion.

ToYouToMe · 02/04/2015 15:12

People glued to their phone Vivacia are fully paid up members of the mobile social 21st century world. In my opinion

Original poster
ZombieZoo · 02/04/2015 15:45

I find that it's hard to hear someone talking to you when you are engrossed in phone. If I was watching TV or browsing a magazine I could hear the person who is talking so it's almost like not being in the room wh n staring at your phone.thats what I find irritating.

OP posts:
Drew64 · 02/04/2015 16:22

Vivacia

It's just that your post read

Christ. What do you see in these men? They sound like children.

You specifically target men, when this thread shows that its not just men that are glued to their phones.

Ragwort · 02/04/2015 16:30

Agreee with Vivacia - yes, it is sad and teenagerish when either men or women are glued to their phone all the time.

It might be 'modern life' & 'being a full paid up member of the mobile world' Hmm but it's a sad reflection on modern life if that is the case.

If it is affecting your relationships and old fashioned interaction with other people then there is something clearly wrong. If neither of you is bothered by it then fine, live like that - but it's no wonder the world is full of lonely people who don't seem to be able to make RL friends. Sad

mawbroon · 02/04/2015 16:42

I am avoiding getting a smart phone because I know I would be just like this Sad I am sticking with my old simple phone for as long as I can.

But I can't explain why I would be like this, or what to do to prevent it.

Vivacia · 02/04/2015 16:47

I've not got a problem with people being glued to a phone, in the same way as I don't have a problem with people glued to a book, film or jigsaw.

Ignoring someone or not giving them your attention when you're in a conversation is rude and not an element of 21st century life.

Ragwort · 02/04/2015 21:44

maw - or you could be like me and have a smart phone and have no idea how to use it Grin.

Original poster
ZombieZoo · 02/04/2015 21:49

Weirdly he's been on it ten mins tonight,!?? Weird,like he knew im at my wits end.
I also asked him if we could, on our day out tomorrow, leave phones on silent in our pockets. He agreed.
I think it's so easy to get obsessed with it and constantly googling etc.
I am going to have a chat over the next week about it and see how or if it can be changed.

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