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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

UH OH!! HELP!!!

9 replies

sum41sbombette · 27/04/2004 22:56

My dp told me that his family (dad, mum and brother) all think that I hate them, and worried about the next time I spend some time at dp's house.

You see when I was there last, I seemed to just be in a really bad mood, and me and dp kept arguing, right under their noses. Not a good way to make an impression I know, but now I feel so bad, cos they have such a bad opinion of me. They also think that my dp tells me to send them cards for birthdays and special occasions etc, but I do it off my own back.

Can any mumnetters give me some advice on what I can do to try and win them over?

I was thinking of ringing his mum up and just say that I dont hate them or have a low opinion of them, but I think that I may sound really stupid just ringing up and saying that straight out. I really love my dp and dont want to have to feel like I cant be around his family because they are afraid that Im going to explode into arguements or into a bad mood!

HELP!!!!!!!

Thanks to you who read this, and give me advice.

OP posts:

boingyzebra · 27/04/2004 22:59

I think I'd ring them straight (open with chitchat, then cut to the chase).
Then again, I'm an American, so maybe not the best advisor!

cuppy · 27/04/2004 23:02

sum41sbomnette....

have you only met his family that one time? If you've met them several times before then they should know what you're like usually.

If however that was your first encounter I think being honest and speaking direct with his mum is the way to go but I would do it face to face - and give her the chance to see the real you . hth

tammybear · 27/04/2004 23:13

Well the problem is his family are not near by, so I cant just go round the corner to see them with dd. Ive met them about 3 or 4 times before, but have only really spoken to them once properly so we dont really know each other that well.

tammybear · 27/04/2004 23:15

lol btw im the same person sum41sbombette and tammybear. sum41sbombette was my old nickname, and i didnt realise i had used it for the first message. Just to warn you to prevent confusion! lol

Blu · 28/04/2004 10:32

Can't your dp just tell them that you were in a bad mood and the two of you were having a bit of an off time, and there's no problem? Then keep being charming, and next time you see them say 'Oh sorry, last time I saw you I was in a bad mood - sorry if I seemed rude, I really didn't mean to be'

Chocol8 · 28/04/2004 10:44

I reckon Blu is right, that is the way I would handle it. Maybe take some nice goodies, sweets or cakes or something...?

Maybe, you could just check with his mum to make sure there are no more birthdays in the family you need to know about to keep your "birthday calendar" or whatever up to date? That way, they will know you are doing it off your own back. Good luck.

mummytojames · 28/04/2004 10:47

next time you are there just say sorry about last time your not useualy like that you were just haveing a bad day

twiglett · 28/04/2004 10:47

message withdrawn

tammybear · 28/04/2004 12:13

Thanks for all the advice. I was thinking of that twiglett as I think part of the reason I couldnt be myself was because I was in somebody elses home. Dp has tried to explain why I was the way they were, but before they even met me, they had slight worries because Im a single mum. Hmmm, well hopefully the next time I speak to them it'll be okay. Fingers crossed!!

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