my boyfriend has gone off sex

[NickMyLipple]

we have been together for 2 years. We have lived together for 18 months. Sex used to be every couple of days, and then once per week as that kinda fitted into our schedule. We're very intimate but neither of us are that bothered about sex.

Recently we have been having less and less sex. It's gone from regular weekly sex to barely every 2 or 3 weeks. I don't so much need sex to satisfy my sexdrive, but it's the time I feel closest to him, and as I said, we're very intimate anyway, but I need that closeness.

He said it's because it's too messy. He always has a shower after getting home from work, so to have sex after means another shower for him and fitting it in before dinner is a nightmare! Same goes for sex at bedtime.

Ideas? Solutions? Has he just gone off me?!

Maybe we should try condoms? He isn't keen and it doesn't solve the problem.

I would stop the oral. It's daft to do this while he does nothing for you.

Tell him you've already brushed your teeth, and its just too much bother to have to do it again.

domino nail on head

Oh poor you, I couldn't live like that. We usually have sex every day unless I'm on my period and even then we can't go without it so end up having it "somewhere else"! Lol! We've been together for 2 years as well. I agree though that it's not the end of the world but I would miss the closeness of it. Have you told him how you feel? We like to wash up afterwards as well but a quick wash in the sink or some baby wipes will do! Do you think he has some form of OCD? He should really be thinking about your feelings and needs as well as his own x

I have to say, never known a man bothered by the mess or not enough to not have sex. I agree with those saying he's either very selfish or has OCD tendencies.

Well, he's managed to convince you that you are only going to be intimate one way and that is to satisfy him. That's why you're peed off. It's totally unfair for him to do this to you. Does he not want to satisfy you at all? If he keeps harping on about the mess excuse, yet finds it acceptable for you to have to swallow it, then he's being a total hypocrit. I'm afraid your sex life is not going to improve with someone who is totally selfish. The best lovers give as much as they take. He is just taking from you and not giving back (unless he counts giving you a mouthful is 'giving' - it's really not.). Time to move on and find a man who wants you to enjoy it aswell.

The only time I have felt like I didn't want sex because it was messy, is when I had stopped fancying the person I was having it with.

I would move on.

What Alibabs said.

The only time I ever, ever go off sex is when I no longer want to be with that person. And the first thing that usually starts it all is feeling really put off at the thought of being 'messy' with them.

Might be time for a very honest conversation, I think. If you are both sure you want to make the relationship work, I think you need to get to the root of the problem and fast. My confidence would be taking a massive hit with something like this, OP.

I agree with vino and alibabs. The only time I've objected to the mess is when I've really gone off someone.

The shower thing is an excuse.