Does anyone have a happy story of meeting someone new, after going through a break up they were devastated about

[orangesthisweek]

I am in my late twenties (almost the big 30), and this week my relationship ended.

I feel really alone and really didn't want it to end. I can't sleep, feel sick, can't eat. I am so scared I wont have the feeling of love and security I had when living with DP. It actually terrifies me. I can't imagine finding someone else and being happy, despite the fact that DP wasnt exactly being the most perfect partner towards the end.

Anyone have any happy stories where they found someone even better? If so, how long did it take?

Jolene I'm glad you are seeing that ray of light.
Sometimes that dark tunnel can go on for quite a long time.
But there is always a light at the end of it.

A little saying I often put on MN:-

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
? Haruki Murakami

Yep, absolutely!

Broke up with DH of 14 years. He was emotionally unavailable and according to MN, emotionally abusive. He had convinced me that I was fat, unattractive and too dim to survive on my own and that nobody would be interested in a divorced 30 something with 3 kids, which kept me hanging in there far longer than I should have!

I lost 2 stone, unable to eat, utterly bereft at the break up of my family. However, I managed fine on my own, found my confidence, trained in a new career and within a year had met my DP who is the absolute love of my life and makes me so happy.

We met online, I was late 30s, he's a bit younger with 2 DCs of his own, and has no worries about my age/physique/kids or any of the stuff that I thought made me a bad bet! All the stuff that I thought was just 'how men are', XH not wanting to spend time with me and the kids, not being affectionate, not enjoying the same things as me, it turned out my DP is the complete opposite of XH and we get on great.

Token "When you find happiness within yourself, that's when you know life is good." That's a great sentiment. Sadly I don't think I had time to find my own happiness before I jumped into dating again and probably do depend a bit too much on DP for my happiness. Something to work on now perhaps?!

I'm sorry that you're feeling so terrible right now.

I had a relationship break-up when I was in my late 20s. We were engaged, and within six months he'd married someone else. I lost (or thought I'd lost) friends and family, and I was so sad. He also left me with a large loan to pay that I'd taken out to help fund his career change. Such a charmer.

Except, it was the best thing to ever happen. Within a year, I met the man I eventually married, and we now have a noisy toddler. My husband is infinitely better than the idiot who made me sad, and that whole episode just made me a more capable individual. I realised that I had wonderful, caring and brilliant friends, and that I was able to have lots of fun outside of a relationship (trans = I had a lot of fun ). My best advice is to spend a lot of time with your friends, and don't look for a new relationship just yet .

I kicked my ex out after he got physical with me after I found out he was on the sex offenders register. He grabbed me by the throat and it resulted in him being admitted to hospital with a broken nose and jaw. I changed the locks whilst he was in hospital and left his clothes with his mum. I found out afterwards that he was cheating on me with my best friend :( When her soon to be ex- husband finds out, I'm sure she is going to have difficulty regaining custody of her children who she left to be with my ex--.

They will both get their just desserts...

I am now with a wonderful man and, although things are far from perfect, we can talk about anything that is bothering us, and this makes us so much closer. We are currently trying for our first child and although I have MC, he has been so unbelievably supportive.

I am 37 by the way - when I split with my ex I thought it would be the end for me and I would become a crazy cat woman rather than having a family. Seems not ;)

Don't ever think you have wasted your life - everything we go through makes us who we are and we are usually better, and stronger for it.

HUGS

Oh, god yes. The bit you're in just now is awful and consuming and feels like it will always be there. I promise you it won't.

My marriage fell apart quite spectacularly when I was in my late 20s. It was the worst time. I was devastated, barely functioned for months and to this day have no idea how I got myself and my child through it.

I spent years alone, got to know myself and was happy with who I was, how my life was turning out and was quite settled being single. Then I met my DP and I actually struggled with having a relationship. I really wanted to be with DP, but also didn't want to let go of my singlehood. In the end, love won.

My main piece of advice, is don't rush. Take time to grieve for the life you thought you would have. It sounds dramatic, but acknowledge and accept that things have changed and it wasn't your choice. It will help. Be kind to yourself, you're worth it ;-)

Thank you for this thread, my hubby of 10yrs told me it was over last week. I'm still hopeful that we can work it out but little things make me think it's unlikely. I have 2 young children & have only been with my husband so feel both devastated and feel my life is over.

I'm sorry nj32
It won't feel like it now but your life is actually just beginning.
Be kind to yourself!

Thank yo u so much everyone!!! More stories welcome!

Was with my ex from 20 to 32 when he met and married an OW (!!!) while working abroad for a period of several months. It took me a good few years to get over it but I'm now happily married to a lovely man who I met when I was 36.

Word of advice: don't rush into anything new. make sure your head is properly straight first.

Yes me! I posted here last year in the midst of heartbreak.
I've recently started seeing someone lovely who despite some initial wariness from me its turning into something special until it goes tits up and I have to name change
Who knows how this will go for me. I have my boundaries fully tightened due to the wisdom of the lovely MN ers and I am hoping for the best. But I digress and I am talking about myself
the point is I never thought I would get here.
Time to grieve and plan for a better new you. You will get there. Its just painful at first.

There was a period in my life when I never could have imagined I'd be replying to a thread like this. Heartbreak is soul destroying, and my heart goes out to you all suffering at the moment.

My relationship with my fiancé ended spectacularly after 7 years together 2 years ago. My entire life was turned upside down, I had to move to live by myself for the first time ever, my family were amazing but 300 miles away. I didn't know how I was going to breathe without it hurting, let alone actually live and get on with my life. There were times when I genuinely thought it would be better if I'd died, and times when I was so pathetically obsessed with ex DP - who had been long term cheating with many people and who moved out of our house HELPED by the current squeeze he then moved in with - that I'm ashamed when I think about it now. I was so incredibly broken and I really couldn't see it getting better.

But. It did. Each day, without my even noticing, it got a tiny but easier to breathe and the world didn't feel too small for my pain anymore. I stared to enjoy things and even began to relish being single - I took a lot of time to look after me, and invested so much time in self care. I felt hugely guilty at times for being even vaguely alright, but I got through it.

After 8 months of being single, I joined a dating site. It was a huge confidence boost - because mine had been shattered - and it was lovely to feel like people wanted to spend time talking to me and getting to know me. I treated the whole thing very casually - until I met now DP. My world was turned again in the space of a week and I haven't looked back. We have a house and we've got our wedding booked.

Despite everything I went through in the aftermath of the break up, I am glad it happened. I'm calmer, less anxious, more balanced and happier. I am better for all of the heartbreak and I am grateful for it because it makes me appreciate the good I have now. I promise you'll get to a day when you feel the same way.

Blueberry and Op thanks. I left a ten year marriage 6 months ago. I feel broken. I feel like the part of me that can have a relationship is broken. It's gone. I hope it isn't but I have a feeling it has. I'm 35, with 3dc's and ALOT of baggage from my abusive marriage
This thread has given me a teeny tiny glimmer of hope that my future might not be lonely when the dc's are grown and gone

And me . in my 20s I broke up with someone I adored who thought I'd be with for the rest of my life.

We'd been together 7 years then one day he just rang and ended it totally out of the blue. There was no body else , he'd just panicked after going to a family wedding where it everyone assumed we'd be next .

I was totally and utterley, utterley devastated ...couldnt hardly speak or do anything for months ..Then he came back saying he'd made a big mistake , buta few weeks later he did it again. (just too scared of commitment it seems in the end)

I really thought id never love anyone else ever or anyone would want me .. But a year or so later i met (and eventually went on to marry) a man who quickly turned out to be an emotional and ( sometimes physical) abuser . , He was charming and interested in me it seemed and my self esteem was so low I couldnt see what he was,( i was just happy someone wanted me )

Istayed with him for several years , although he soon stoped being charming and nice to me..however by that time I believed him when he sauid that no one else would want me .. (I cant believe now that i did) Luckily (although i didnt think so at the time) he left me for another woman when our child was only a week old ..

Ds and I ended up on benefits in crap rented accomodation miles away from our family and what friends I had left.

But 2 years later ,I was so broke i finally decided I just couldnt get any poorer so I might as well follow my dream of going to university and became a student (exh , had always maintained i was too thick to do so ). In those days uni childcare was free for single parents)

On the first day at uni I met someone lovely (i knew he was as soon as he walked into the room!) ..

A few months later we got together .. he was also a single parent, and just about the poorest man I had ever met .. We took it V..e..r..y slowly , we agreed that our kids and degree were always the first priority ..so slowly that it took us 13 years before we married.!

Weve been together 22 years now.. those first instincts were dead right....kids have grown up, we have grandchildren and live in a nice house .. not rich but doing ok .

A few years ago my 'first love' contacted me again. There was no spark.. nothing at all ..

Abusive exH went onto have serial wives and girlfriends and made thier lives a misery (I know, I met more than one of one of them on 'contact visits' with DS). I dont see him any more, DS is an adult , but sometimes I get to hear about him ..hes no different

But one of his exs has now become a really good friend of mine (We talked about how I wished could have warned her, but being the exW she probably wouldnt have believed me at the time )

Anyway Oranges Dont look back and grieve for what was lost too long..

Believe me, however dark it looks now,The best is yet to come..x

anymore stories like the ones above?

:)