Does anyone else's DH make decisions/big purchases without you

[lovedoughnuts]

Just what the title says really.
My H has just purchased something big and expensive (to us) for the garden.
I would have liked to have had some say in the purchase, I.e. The model/cost/timing of delivery, but he's just gone ahead & done the whole lot on his own.
This sort of thing has happened before.
I've just told him that I'm pissed off that he's done it again, without there being two ticks in the box, as it were.
Am I being unreasonable?

Depends. If he's paid for it out of his money I don't see the problem.

OP - in my relationship, I think I am probably more like you DH. I sometimes make big purchases without consulting DH and it is usually when I don't think he will be bothered and I just "want to get things done". This thread makes me think I should probably consult him more .

My DP recently bought a new tv without much consultation. We have separate money and he could afford it so it's up to him really. He did tell me before he ordered it and showed me the size as he knows I wouldn't like a really massive tv so I wasn't too bothered. If it was something we're buying together we'd have a proper discussion and agree before buying.

He wouldn't like it if you even bought a cushion without consulting him?

Then make a fuss and insist the purchase is cancelled. It's online: you can do that no problem - cooling off period.

It's important to set a precedent here I think. You're not happy, and for good reason - stick up for yourself and an equally respectful relationship.

If he knows he has OCD, how does he propose to manage it so that it doesn't adversely affect you?

He can't use his illness as a get-out clause: it is an explanation, but not an excuse.

No. Our finances are too stretched to do that.

I had a massive the other week when we were discussing with friends that we'd like to convert out loft. DH casually dropped in to conversation that we had the £40k to do it but "he's hanging on to that so he can start his own business".

My DH is also pretty controlling with money, which bothers me sometimes. I'm crap, which is why I've never made a fuss. But now we're earning more than when we first met, I'm starting to want more say-so over how we spend it.

All our money is joint, although I'm the sole earner (I'm the DH).
Up to about £50 we usually don't check with each other but over that we generally do.
DW booked a weekend away without consulting me - £200 maybe? - although things like that are rare.
We are both prety tight though. The problems are when one partner likes to spend money and the other is more careful.

No but I don't always consult my husband. I buy stuff that I want with my money, even if its for the house and expensive. He is free to buy whatever he likes too but he is too lazy and then moans that everything is of my choice. But I don't like waiting forever. Also depends if there is a difference in your and his opinion on what a big purchase is.