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Relationships

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Original poster

holidays - boring fart of a husband

47 replies

2stixoftwix · 30/03/2015 19:34

OK we haven't been on holiday for years. Due to Total Boredom I start looking at flights and hotels from our local airport. Spot some great deals. So I say to my hubby - fancy going to Barcelona for a few days ?

Answer. ... No not really

And he carries on watching crap on the tv.

No other comment, no - that would be nice, or when, or how much just " no not really". Guess I will just sit here and carry on being bored. Then :(

OP posts:

AnnieMoor · 30/03/2015 20:30

Yes, just go with your dd.

Aside from your dh being dull, it's such treat to go away with a child and see it all through their eyes.

Fairenuff · 30/03/2015 20:32

Have you all got passports OP?

Primadonnagirl · 30/03/2015 20:34

By extreme I mean just taking his first response at face value and going straight to " Im off on my own then!" I didn't mean going on your own or with DD is extreme. I'm assuming OP wanted to go with him in the first place or she wouldn't have asked.

Jackieharris · 30/03/2015 20:35

Take your dd

Whatsforsupper · 30/03/2015 20:35

Agreed. Go.

Barcelona is a fantastic city you and your daughter will have a fantastic time:)

Original poster

2stixoftwix · 30/03/2015 21:12

Lol. He had been like this for years (together 26 years). He used to be really good fun, but now he doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I always suggest everything and plan and arrange it. I think I will say tomorrow. Ok if you don't want to go - do you have a problem with me and my daughter going. Actually I think I would rather go without him anyway !

OP posts:

lunalelle · 30/03/2015 21:30

Ugh. My first husband did this. I booked the holiday and he bloody ruined it with his moaning and refusal to leave the hotel room. Kids were 5 and 11 at the time. Cost £2400 as well! :(

Still feel furious eight years later!

nozzz · 30/03/2015 21:37

Is that level of mutual communication typical in your relationship?

EthelDurant123 · 30/03/2015 21:40

I was once on a little break in Salisbury to see Stonehenge with the husband and we met a Canadian lady at the B&B. She was over to walk the South Downs. She had left her husband in Canada because she told us he never wanted to leave his shed. She was having a great time without him!

fluffapuss · 30/03/2015 21:42

Hello 2stix

Go for it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holidays in UK are great or abroad !

Short or long break

City or countryside

Hostel, B&b, hotel, camping, camper van

Life is too short, your daughter will grow up fast and then she may not want to go on holiday with you when she is older

Take lots of photos, write diary, facebook, scrapbook, then you can share the experience with family & friends & look back & remember where you have been

Enjoy quality time together & a change of scenery

Endler32 · 30/03/2015 21:45

I go on holiday without my do, he doesn't like going away, gets quite anxious so I take the dc's by myself, we have a great time .

honeyroar · 30/03/2015 22:08

Next time he answers with a negative, not interested comment say "ok, I might just go with DD then as i really fancy going". See what he says. He might think its a good compromise. It might do you good to do a mini break without him to get your culture fix, and a more laid back family holiday later with him. Could be the key to everyone being happy..

ivykaty44 · 30/03/2015 22:56

Your only here once and you have to make the most of your opportunities

Sickoffrozen · 31/03/2015 07:06

Why do you have to ask him if he has a problem with you going with your daughter? He has told you he doesn't want to go.

I would just he saying "I have booked that Barcelona holiday but am going with our daughter as you didn't want to come"

That would be the end of that discussion and he could like it or lump it.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 31/03/2015 07:18

I would go to Barca without him.

He is acting like this for a reason, why is he like this now?. Its not your job though to fix him. I also think his not wanting to go on holiday is symptomatic of far greater problems within your relationship. Is this really what you want to teach your DD about relationships, that this is how couples really behave?.

AlternativeTentacles · 31/03/2015 07:24

And if he says yes, he does have a problem?

Why not book it, for you and your daughter, and just go? You asked him, he said 'no not really', so you took that as a no and just booked for the two of you. So what if he moans and groans? He cant say no and then ban you from going with your daughter, can he? Or is he the boss?

Penfold007 · 31/03/2015 07:27

Fancy going to Barcelona for a few days?

That's a shame. I'll just book for me and DD then.

tribpot · 31/03/2015 07:33

And if he says yes, he does have a problem?

Quite - don't ask him if he has a problem with it, you're starting off from the premise that you need his agreement. Tell him you want to go, you'd like it if he came with you but if he prefers to stay at home you'll be going with your daughter. End of.

defineme · 31/03/2015 07:34

So what changed him from fun to no fun?
Time apart might help him reflect on that.

newnamesamegame · 31/03/2015 08:23

My H is like this.

It's one of the reasons we are separating :)

Seriously I think withdrawing from your spouse, refusing to plan shared time, shared experiences together, is a really bad sign in a relationship.

Not wanting to do everything together is fine. But wanting to simply co-exist in a state of torpor -- sod that.

AlternativeTentacles · 31/03/2015 08:26

What you should have done once he said 'no not really' is just continued to book for you and your daughter. Made sure passports are all up to date. Got your holiday clothes. The day before, pack your bags and when he eventually notices you say 'I asked and you didn't want to come. When I get back, make sure the house isn't a state. Have fun as we will' then get into a cab and go to the airport.

AlternativeTentacles · 31/03/2015 08:30

Whenever I suggest a holiday destination my OH starts researching, finds the best deal, we negotiate the best time to go and before you know it, it is booked. It's been harder the last few years as he moved jobs three times, and doesn't like taking hols until he has been there 3-4 months...and I work term time and do some work in the holidays so it takes some planning...but if he wants to spend his life in front of the TV let him - but you don't have to.

He needs to know that you are prepared to do things on your own if he can't be arsed. Please do not sit there with him just because he doesn't want to engage in anything resembling fun.

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