I posted some weeks ago about having found a half sister I never know I had and the trials I was going through at that time.
For a while everything looked as though it was going to work itself out but over the last few weeks I have come to realise that divisions within my family are becoming harder to heal and that it may lead to the final nail in the coffin as regards my marriage.
Please let me explain and bear with me as it is a complex story.
Ar almost 50 yrs of age my mother informed me that I had a half sister who is 36 and lives on the south coast of England (I live in Northern Ireland). I contacted my sister and have built a relationship with her and we chat on messenger once or twice a week.
Initially there were issues and my wife was set against the relationship but as time wore on her position softened and she came to accept the fact that I was determined to build a long term relationship with my sister and her family.
Now for some background on my family.
i met my wife in 1984 and at that time she was married, although both she and her ex have admitted to me that their marriage was in it's last stages.
She was 7 yrs older than I was and already had two boys then 5 and 3.
We moved in together about six months into our relationship and the boys came to live with us. Our son was born in 1985 and for five years everything was great then I discovered she was having a relationship with a work colleague for about 12 months. We decided on a trial separation and I knew she was still seeing the other man. After a couple of months she asked me to move back home and I did. I then caught her with the other man and a month later she moved in with him, taking our sons, only for it to last a few days before she came home begging my forgiveness.
Since then she has been a devoted wife and mother and I could never ask for a more loving wife.
Before I go on I must tell you that I am not a perfect man, I have many faults but we always faced the world as a family and stood together my wife and I and our '3' sons.
Eventually our sons grew got married and we now have 7 grandchildren but the crack in our blended family is fast becoming a chasm.
My two eldest, my stepsons although I think of them as mine, seem to be engaged in some form of alienation of our youngest and I have started to hear derogatory comments being aimed against him and his family. I have also been attacked verbally by my eldest sons wife and blamed for things which I am not and could not have been responsible for.
My wife has begun to become defensive of our eldest and I feel that I have been forced into the position of defending the youngest and during some very troubling arguments between my wife and I recently I have been attacked by her and found myself throwing her affair into the ring even though it has nothing to do with what is going on now.
Our sex life is now almost non existent and we are fast becoming nothing more than irritants to each other rather than the united family we once were.
I am fast losing the love and loyalty of my family and don't know what to do?