husband and i have been together for 18 years. we had a really good sex life at first. never felt anything like it, loving, erotic, couldn't get enough of each other. i'm 49 and he's 55 now and its rubbish. he doesnt seem to want me. I know we have a real life and a normal marriage with its problems, he works hard etc. We have sex about once every 3 months. I ask for more, he tells me he loves me, wants me, finds me attractive etc. but wont inititate sex. When we actually do it, it's very good. Then, nothing, for months. I ask for more sex, he says, We will do it...then he doesnt do anything about it. I used to initiate sex, he was fine with that, but this has gone on so long I have lost a lot of confidence and find it difficult to initiate sex now. I ask for it, I say I want more love, more closeness, more sex....we go to bed early.....nothing. He says, we'll do it tonight, I cook dinner early, have shower, he has shower, we go to bed, it's 7pm, he puts on tv and watches it, I wait, lying there, nothing, then I get upset and rejected and he says, why are you upset? I tell him I was expecting him to make love to me and am confused why he hasn't and why he's watching tv and making me wait. "We were going to do it" he says. Always "we will do it" but we never do. He cuddles me in bed but I wonder what is going on.
What am I supposed to do? Then, every so often, about every 3 months, he gets in bed with me and it happens but now I turn him down because I feel used, embarrassed, can't do it with someone who just wants to to avoid a row or wants quick shag every now and then.
I' m obviously not the young pretty girl I was but I am ok looking and have a nice body, a drawer full of sexy underwear and I love him. He does enjoy it when we do it, or he seems to, I'm not sure any more.
Anyone got any idea whats going on? Its becoming a real issue. I feel like S* about myself.