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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think I've ended it - not sure what to do now.

2 replies

QueenDodo · 28/03/2015 13:50

Bollocks - had an argument with H last night which ended up getting nasty and he ended up staying at local hotel.

Now he is acting as though it is totally over and I am not sure what to do next.

Backstory: Have been together about 10 yrs. Married. We have 2 DC and am pregnant with 3rd. Things have been shit for a while, his DM died, a friend of mine died, we have had housing issues etc but underlying all of that we have got serious issues in our relationship. We have tried counselling (relate and private) and done couple therapy as well as individual. We have major trust issues to do with good old AW and him lying to me. That is what ultimately prompted the couples therapy.

I am exhausted by all the bullshit and feel like he is trying to make it all my decision (he just came to pick up the DC for the afternoon and asked me 'what is happening tonight? Do I need to find somewhere else to stay?'

This is making me feel very angry and as though he is trying to be ultra passive and will make it like I have kicked him out etc. He made a big thing about not wanting to be a part time Dad and that I am forcing him to not be in their lives full time.

Don't know if this even makes any sense what so ever. I just needed to get it down and clear my head a bit. Feel very old and cynical right now. And tired. So so tired.

I literally don't know what I want anymore.

OP posts:
Quitelikely · 28/03/2015 14:03

A normal relationship should be a happy, safe place to be.

In all honesty if you have had issues for years within this relationship and spent the most part of it being miserable then I think you should think seriously about staying in it for another ten years.

A few days apart might do you both the world of good.

Finola1step · 28/03/2015 14:08

Your last line is your starting point. Some time apart to help you begin to decide would be a good idea.

But in all fairness, a marraige requires effort but shouldn't be sheet bloody hard work.

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