Chemistry but no attraction?

[noworriesofficer]

Someone I work with I can’t really work out how I feel about, we get on really well together and seem to have clicked, he makes me laugh and smile when I see him and we’re very comfortable together but I don’t feel attracted to him. It’s not that he’s not attractive because he is and I think to myself how much I like him and he’s attractive so why don’t I fancy him? He is my type but for some reason the idea of anything physical happening just feels weird

We’re both single and I know there have been rumours about us at work, people assuming that we must be together and saying we act like a couple. I think he likes me in the same way I like him but I don’t get any flirting vibes.

I don’t really know what i’m asking as I’m happy with us being friends I suppose i’m just wondering if this is strange or if other people have friendships like this. I have quite a lot of male friends but they’re not like this.

OP, sometimes you just don't know until you try! if you really like him and like the look of him, I'd advise going for a kiss (or at least a proper close hug) and then see how it feels (obv not at work!). I've heard so many women saying that they started fancying someone after the physical contact happened.
If you do want a relationship, why not try? it's not easy to meet someone you get on so much with.

and btw, 'weird' is not a bad thing, it's only a no-go if you feel actively repulsed about getting close to someone.

Hmm.. Do you protest too much? So noteworthy is he, that you ask a forum.
I get on with men easily usually, better than women. Flirtation may or may not be involved, but there is no confusion as I'm happy with BF. I guess it makes you wonder more when single, that's just because you are. Enjoy for what it all is, go with the flow, you'll know when someone yanks your chain. If he doesn't , so what! Happy mates is fine, especially in the work place

Sounded like me and my now DH.

We're wereclise friends for years, I didn't fancy him, didn't see him in that way.

Then he made a move on me and the rest is history. If he hadn't, I don't think we'd have got together so I'm glad he did

You have 'friendship chemistry', not 'sexual chemistry'. No big mystery there, OP.

Enjoy your easy friendship, it's worth a huge amount and has the potential for longevity.

It sounds to me as if you're wondering if this relationship could develop into something else. If that's the case, I think you should try flirting with him to see what happens.

"I didn't fancy him, didn't see him in that way. Then he made a move on me and the rest is history."

Often seems to happen this way for a lot of people.

I had a friendship like this once. Thought he was sweet and we got on so well. We clicked, but the thought of anything sexual was just weird. We're married now

ok so it's either just 'friendship chemistry' or we're going to get married one day......

Could he be gay?

"ok so it's either just 'friendship chemistry' or we're going to get married one day......"

......or you could both become a cabaret act like Siegfried and Roy.

No, quite sure he's not gay, why do you ask?

As the others said, sounds like a bloke I once knew. Is now my DH.

This situation is what alcohol was invented for.

I had a friend like this once. Great friends, really close did everything together- set tongues wagging, but I didn't feel I 'fancied' him.

We're married now. Seems I did fancy him after all

Well I had a male friend who I admired and liked very much. We got on well. Then I was single and he made his romantic feelings v clear, it was a bit weird but went with it a little, went to a party and early hours of morning, sun rising he held my hand walking on the beach and I knew then I didnt fancy him. Sadly I knew it would never change.

Another male friend for 6 years - genuinely never considered him romantically, then one night we were both single at the same time. He kissed me on the forehead, it was still kind of weird, but suddenly realised I was attracted to him. Still was weird and for first few months of dating occasionally we'd be hanging out with friends and i'd remember we are 'together'. Also it was impossible to try and 'impress' him as he knew me too well already! Now my DH.

So I agree physical contact would prob make it clear!

I get what you're saying soontobe but I don't think he even feels that way so doubt that's going to happen.

Nice to hear it happened for so many of you though!

Well, you'll only know if you try

I asked whether he was gay only because I can 'click' with certain gay men in that they are amusing and we share a lot of views (conversation tumbles and flows) but there is no sexual attraction.

Snog him and see

But I don't want to! I don't think so anyway.

Think going to leave as it is for now, don't want to risk ruining the friendship and making work awkward when I don't even fancy him

I had a good friend like that once. Sweet, quiet, quite good-looking but not my type.

Then we both had a couple of drinks too many at a mutual friends' party one night. One thing led to another (and another and another ) and pretty much the only night we've spent apart since was when I stayed on the post-natal ward after delivering our daughter.

Alcohol and kisses seem to be the key.

We don't really see each other outside of work and he doesn't like work nights out so doubt the situation will ever arise