How do I make dh loose weight

[corblimey]

I'm not new, but using a different name in case dh has a snoop, he knows about my mn habit.

Over the last 2 years my dh has gradually gained weight, and now really does look like a fat-bloke.

Trouble is that although I love him dearly, I'm finding him less fanciable, and honestly think that sex isn't as good, cos he's less erm .... mobile and heavier.

He has a very sedentary job, and has been working long hours. He's been unhappy at work too, which has contributed to the problem.

I have tried to make encouraging remarks to suggest he loses weight, and tried to find ways to help him take more exercise. But he grumbles a bit that I go on about it, and complains about things like cutting the lawn (it's hardly a football pitch).

I try to provide low fat food, and plan decent meals, but have no control over his daytime consumption

Any Ideas please how I can motivate him? I don't want to say that I don't fancy him, but I'm getting desperate (and worried about his health)

I have such a success story on this: dh has lost two and a half stone (plus) since before Xmas, and it's transformed him. It's ongoing; he planned it as a six-month thing, so will relax a bit by June. If he can do it anyone can.

Here is how it was done:

1. He has two old old friends who never pass judgement on anyone, souls of tact and decency etc. Each of them independently of each other took him aside and said you are looking really bad you must do something.

2. A colleague of his had set up a personal trainer arrangement but couldn't use it, so dh thought he would take over the gym membership & see how it went.

3. The personal trainer got him onto not exactly Atkins, but quite a strict diet of mostly protein & veg: importantly NO carbs and NO alcohol.

No two of these things would have worked without the third. As partners we can help with the diet side, and I support the gym thing by making sure he's got time free for that, but it was the cringing effect of the old friends that really did it. Can you perhaps secretly set a few up to do that for your dh?

It is so hard, my dh knows he is overweight (I still fancy him though but I can see he is getting worse) but lacks discipline, I have refused to be his minder about it... I have been honest and got an old photo and said, you would so much more attractive if you got back to this and let me know what you need to me to do to help you.
He's nicked my slimfast this week.. he has gym membership but rarely goes.
God you sound just like me but I'm not going off mine..yet!
Ps mine is 5ft 8 and 14 stones... but rugby player build so stocky by nature,

yeahhhh no alcohol
that would make a diff!!!

Other thing keeping him going, as it would, is daily compliments from Other Women. Bit like how being pregnant makes you public property - everyone notices and admires a newly svelte man (when probably would be less personal with a woman). I mention just in case it might help with persuasion.

see this

my dh is still fat

Thanks everyone Esp. fleagle, your link was interesting.

As I said dh has been very unhappy at work over the last few months, but he actually finishes work on Friday, and pending getting another job (PANIC) will be at home (yes I'm also known as Abitskint, among others). So I'm hoping to take matters in hand for a week or two, and want to send him out to the pool every couple of days, and he will have to cut the lawns etc because we can't afford to pay anyone to do it, with no money coming in. Don't know what it costs to use the gym at our leisure centre, but might see if we can find money for the occasional session there too.
Trouble is partly that he has such terrible eating habits. His weekend breakfast of choice is bacon sandwich, and if he cooks a stirfry he makes mountains of it, so he has 2 huge platefuls just cos it's there. I asked him not to make so much last time, and he didn't, but I could tell he felt nagged.
I know we have to go to no alcohol, but that's hard. About 4 weeks ago, as he resigned, I suggested we only drank at weekends, as an economy measure. That lasted about 4 days but at least now it's only 1 glass of wine each in an evening. He has given up his bedtime glass of scotch (saving it for emergencies), I just need to wean him off the milk that's replaced it.

Now he's looking for a job seems a bad time to try to force this on him, but I feel that in a young industry, he's at a disadvantage looking like a middle-aged fat bloke.

As I said I do love him, and haven't completely gone off him, but don't feel that same OOOOOOOh as often as I did.

Thanks, and any further suggestions would be welcome.