My understanding of hysterical bonding is that it's more fundamental than partners trying to corral one another back into a relationship. It's what happens amongst people during a major disaster: shock and urgency rip away social routines & defences; people can form very strong, intimate bonds almost instantly. It's an animal-brain thing (not a technical term, that) which feels incredibly real, intense, like destiny. The illusion's total but it is an illusion. It wears off when the panic - and the apocalyptic pair-bonding - recedes. 99 times out of a hundred, the hysterically bonded pair will see each other properly for the first time and realise there is no compatibility ... although they often stay in touch for a long time, as no other person has been through that enormous experience with them.
The relationship version is the same mechanism. I've been through it dozens of times in abusive relationships; it sets in during the aftermath of a fight, then things settle and you start moving towards the next fight. It's one of the reasons people find it hard to break out of the abusive cycle.
You've been through something cataclysmic, worried. Your world as you knew it was shaken apart. This is the aftermath.
I'm not saying other factors don't come into play as well, like "pick me" and "let's pretend it never happened". Humans are complicated: of course various factors get jumbled up! In my experience, the games your relationship played beforehand come to the fore now, as well, because everything's in emotional high relief. If you've read Eric Berne's Games People Play, you may have recognised some things from your own life. Two very popular ones are 'Courtroom' and 'Now I've Got You'.
It is sad that your trust in your relationship has been shaken. On top of the utter shock, it knocks your confidence and that takes a long time to restore properly. You may or may not stay together, I don't know. But I think it's very healthy to observe what's going on emotionally, primarily in yourself, and also in your partner - I mean, not necessarily what she's saying and demonstrating about her feelings but what you can observe independently.