Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Separation...where to start?

5 replies

Rachel909 · 26/03/2015 13:00

I'm going to suggest we do this whilst OH looks at his EA issues. What do I do? Ask him to stay with his parents? What if he refuses to go? We can't stay in the same house can we? - it seems too unhealthy. I have a four month old and feel that I need to heal from his abusiveness.

I'm at a loss as to how to go about all this...

Any suggestions would be great...

Thanks

OP posts:

boxcutter · 26/03/2015 13:23

I am sorry you are in this position but good for you for being willing to separate. Getting away from EA will be a huge benefit to you and baby.

Have you spoken with Women's Aid and/or a solicitor about your situation? Check out Women's Aid website for local support groups perhaps?

Original poster

Rachel909 · 26/03/2015 13:26

Thanks for the reply Boxcutter...

No, not yet. I will do a search and see what there is locally. I'm just scared that he will refuse to move out, so as not to have to tell his parents what's going on. I need a solicitor I suppose to work out my rights...

OP posts:

pocketsaviour · 26/03/2015 14:59

It would certainly be easier for you if he moves out. If he doesn't want to go to his parents, dos he have any friends with a spare room who could put up with a lodger for a while? Or could he grab a houseshare?

I would normally say that if you had enough room in your place, you could try just separate bedrooms and living as housemates, however if he has been/is being EA, I am concerned that would not be suitable.

pocketsaviour · 26/03/2015 14:59

I am also concerned that "whilst OH looks at his EA issues" in his eyes may mean "until I've played nice long enough for her to take me back, then I can start being a twat again."

Granville72 · 26/03/2015 15:35

If you are not married then you will have little in the way of rights so don't be fooled that you have the same rights as a married person.

I found this out this week having seen a solicitor, regardless that he's making me and our 2.5yr old homeless by insisting the house is sold, but also putting me out of business at the same time. Thankfully I am jointly on the mortgage and deeds so I get my share of the equity and then just child maintenance.

If we'd have been married, then that would be a whole different ball game and rights.

Flip