I've got HPV?? Is this a result of my husband's affair?

[mrscraig]

I feel sick writing this.
Nearly two years ago I found out my husband was having an affair with a much younger colleague. I was devastated and heart broken, to put it mildly.
The last two years have been a roller coaster of revelations, unravelling lies and me constantly having doubts about whether or not I want a future with him. The bottom line is that I love him, truly love him and that has kept me from making the final break. And the effect it would have on my two dd's.
Anyway, this afternoon, I received a letter with the results from a recent smear to say 'there is evidence of HPV infection'.
I am reeling. I've googled and there is conflicting advice. All I know is despite one smear which I had about 18 years ago, they have always come back clear.
I feel ill that this could be a result of his affair ...or not..

Mrscraig my understanding is that once you have HPV it can pop up randomly in the future and that most cell changes are due to HPV. It is entirely possible that you have had this since before your last abnormal smear (and it caused those abnormal cells).
Also I don't think that they have routinely tested for HPV during smears until recently. If I have remembered this all correctly then it is entirely possible the HPV predates the affair. You will never know though.

I think they've only recently started routine testing for HPV - this may be the is probably the reason why it hasn't shown up on previous smears - plus it can lay dormant for a long time.

Apparently 80% of women will have it at some point during their lives so it is pretty common. I think it can be caught through skin to skin contact as well as sexual contact so really may not be from your husband.

I had results to say I had it last year and went for a colposcopy. First mistake I made was go straight into Google and frighten myself silly! Then when spoke to friends realised it was a lot more common than I thought. May be a good idea to talk to your doctor if you're worried. The nurses I saw at the hospital were fantastic - very reassuring and really put my mind at rest. The procedure itself didn't hurt and was over in 10 minutes.

I tested positive for HPV after years of smears (scotland so we start at 21) and a monogamous relationship (to my belief anyway).

I asked the gp why it had just been found some 10 years after entering a long term relationship and she had two answers 1) it lies dormant so can take a long time to discover 2) the tests have become more efficient and in fact in many areas they only started testing specifically for HPV in the last few years.

Knowing your husband had been unfaithful must give the whole thing a massive sting but it does not necessarily mean that it was as a result of this

Oh, I see others have said the same long before me. Mine required no treatment. I had 6 monthly smear tests for maybe 3 years then went back to 3 yearly as no further abnormalities were found

There are about 100 different HPV viruses which have different symptoms. A small number are linked to cervical cancer - and this is why teenagers are being vaccinated in schools against these particular strains of HPV.

No I haven't spoken to him yet. He was away on business last night so not back until later.
Don't know whether to wait until after the appointment to say, at least then I'll have more of an idea as to what infection I actually have.

Mrscraig

Just for clarity, Herpes and Human Papillomavirus (HPV) are different things.

HPV has a few strains, a couple of which cause genital warts and a couple of which (not the same as the GW ones) have been linked to the development of pre-cancerous cells on the cervix.

The NHS has only been screening for the potential cancer causing HPV strains as part of the smear programme for the last couple of years so it is entirely possible that lots of women have had HPV for years with no symptoms (cell changes / abnormal cells) and are only finding out about it now as a result of a recent smear.

The HPV virus will not show up on a sexual health check. The only way you would know from a GUM appointment that you had a strain of HPV would be if you have visible GWs.

All strains of HPV affecting the lady garden and gentleman's club areas (rather than the HPV that creates warts on other parts of the body) are usually contracted via sexual contact but it is entirely possible that DH had this and passed it on to you years ago and it is only showing up in your smear now the NHS have started to screen for it.

Either way, there is no way you can know for certain whether it is a result of the affair as the NHS didn't screen for HPV in smears before so you can't compare recent and historical results.

I hope that helps a bit with the medical stuff...

Can you talk to your GP or a friend about this? Although you have decided to stay with your husband and make a go of things with him, it sounds like everything is still pretty difficult and raw for you... I hope you can get some more emotional support as it sounds like you are having a really tough time.

hippymama1 is it possible to have abnormal cells without HPV? Ie aren't the abnormal cells the OP had 18yrs ago a sign that she had contracted HPV prior to then? I just wonder because I read that virtually all cervical cancer is caused by HPV but I didn't know if that also applied to pre-cancerous cells?

Tarka I also read that virtually all cervical cancer is caused by certain strains of HPV, although there must be other causes for abnormal cells / cervical cancer too, as even nuns and virgins can get it...

Mrscraig maybe you could ask your GP about that? As Tarka says, it is possible that you got HPV years ago...

I am sure- though don't mind being contradicted and it may be in the links- that HPV can be transmitted 'manually' rather than penis- vagina- so even a virgin could pass it on.

Smear tests have never before tested for HPV- it's also only a few years that it's been possible for girls to be vaccinated against HPV so the screening will coincide with that.

It is possible you have had the HPV for years and years and it's not been detected.

Thank you for the responses. I did talk to him last night and he was very apologetic and reassuring. The not knowing how long I've had it for is so frustrating and the situation does pick at a scab which is trying to heal over.
Fingers crossed the colposcopy gives me peace of mind.

Gladys fuck off you daft cunt

It’s a possibility. But this is something I got diagnosed with yesterday I was also panicking. But men cannot be tested for it. The only way HPV is detected is through a smear test other than being linked as cancerous it will NOT affect you. Also yes it is contagious highly... 80% have it but most people will not know Men imparticially as they do not screen for it at sexual health clinics!