Have my erogenous zones really gone dead?!

[Siane]

Hi - I had a baby 10 months ago and stopped breast feeding 5 months ago. I assumed my libido was low since then due to the inevitable tiredness and a few bugs but have just pinpointed the problem - I don't think my body's responding like it used to, especially my breasts. I used to have sensitive nipples but now there's nothing at all. I'm finding it pretty upsetting as there's a lot going on in our lives at the moment and I feel I've lost some vital intimacy with my husband, who's often away. Is this normal and will it pass? I can't find anything on the net. Many thanks to anyone who can share an experience.

I think loosing a degree of sensation in your nipples after breastfeeding is entirely normal. Libido-wise it also very common for sex drive to plummet post birth. For some it is a hormonal thing, for others it is tiredness and the general drudgery of being a mum that gets in the way of feeling sexy.

losing

Hi, thanks for that message. Thing is, it's all sensation, not just a degree..

I'll bet there'll be someone along any minuute to advise you further on the nipples/breast thing, but it is normal to go off sex post birth.

hope so. Anyone there? Thanks

Had the same problem after DD's birth. She's 3 now and things did improve and some but not all sensation returned, but it took ages, now I've just had DS and imagine I'll be back to square one again...

Thanks Minko. Bit bleak then but some light at the end of the tunnel. Who knows, with this one things might go the other way? Fingers and boobs crossed,

I'm feeling a similar lack of sensation in various depts...have tried on my own (if you get my gist) and still the same. Bit sad about it really!

Exactly the same, non-existent libido and very little sex. But partner has been extraordinarily patient and HURRAH I finally feel like sex again (18 months down the line). It takes so much time and the tiredness is a total killer but it will come back.

Thank god. Didn't realise how important it was til it went if you know what I mean. 18 months..I can wait that long. Thanks both for getting back. Can anyone else beat 18 months?!

Errrr...10 years! That's how long it's been since I've really really wanted sex. I still enjoy it when it happens but I can honestly say I never want it in the first place. But I've had 3 babies in that time and bf for an extended period of time for all 3. Stopping feeding DS#2 so hoping that thing will wake up again - still knackered all the time though

Siane, I had exactly the same problem. I bf/expressed for 13 months and afterwards I might as well have had eraser tips on my breasts for all the sensation there was in my nipples. I have to say it did take quite a while for it to return, but I did finally recover most sensation. In the meantime, you have to try to find other, shall we say stimulating?, activities to replace the nipple sensation - or loss thereof.

Lots of times I wouldn't feel like sex, but would initiate anyway as I didn't want us to get caught in that cycle of a long dry spell. I was always glad that I did! Maybe it's just more difficult to get yourself in the mood from all the tiredness involved with a new baby. Anyway, hang in there and all will work out

jabber - thank you. Flipping things. I feel like my body's betraying me..I want it to do certain things and it just won't! Got used to it not looking like i want anymore but not behaving either, I dunno..
Will see if i can substitute something else. Never tried toe action or backs of knees - there's something for the weekend!
Thanks loads,
S

Let me know how it works out I'm due to give birth in 5 weeks and the cycle will start all over again...

Siane - are you using adifferent type of birth control than you did before? Your loss of libido might be realted to a contraceptive pill or coil?

Nipple sensation will return. I breastfed 4 children and didn't lose sensation at all? I wonder if the loss of sensation is linked to the loss of libido rather than any realtion to childbirth or breastfeeding?

There is no doubt that you are knackered with a new baby and sex is the furthest thing from your mind at times.

You can save a lot of time and effort if you're not interested in sex but that's a separate issue/benefit.
May be see the doctor. Do you think about sex but it's just when you touch the nipples it has no effect or has the sex drive gone?
Things like the pill can affect it and also diet. Improving to a healthy diet and more exercise can help too.

Hi Mears - thanks for your message. I'm not on birth control, my DD was through IVF so no link there...
Hopefully things will look up.
Thanks Xenia. Need to exercise and change diet for next lot of IVF so that should change something. I might ask the doctor but he's a bit odd so it could be embarrasing. Really suprised I can't find anything about it on the net, makes me feel a bit of an oddball. Oddboob maybe!

I had the same thing myself. After a while I began to wonder if it was psychological, i.e. that I was 'switching off' all feeling because nipples were now feeding things, not sexual things.

Things improved slightly in the 2 years between finishing bfing DS1 and starting bfing DS2. After stopping bfing DS2 it was a year or two before I got back to normal, but still wouldn't say as sensitive as before.

The only time I heard it referred to was in the film 'The Silence of the Lambs' when Hannibal Lecter asks the mother of a kidnapped girl if she bfed her. The mother says yes and Lecter says something about ruining the sensitivity of the nipples!!!!

Oh my god I remember that line. Eurgh!
I wonder if pumping wrecked them. I was at it all the flipping time to get a break in the evening but it took me ages, was like getting blood out of a stone. Good to know something came back, thanks for that. Funny how no one mentions it. Have just talked about it to my mum and wish I hadn't now, she got all embarrassed for some reason...

Interesting about the pumping theory siane. Ds had nipple confusion and so I pumped almost exclusively for 10 months. I had never thought that maybe the sensitiviy loss would be greater with that.

I have to say, one thing that was great about getting pg again was that the sensitivity level finally came back full force! Of course, now that I'm 34 weeks along it's not doing me a lot of good...

Hi theoriginaljabborwocky
Just seen what time you were up! Is that the pregnancy? Good luck with it and good luck jabberthefriendly ghost..
Going to try netdoctor to see if they have any advice too and will post it here if I get a result.
xx

Funny you should mention that. My original post looked early b/c I'm in the US. However, it is now 4:17 am my time and yes, it's the pregnancy...I'm guessing it's Mother Nature's way of preparing me for being up every two hours nursing