DH refuses to discuss, engage, acknowledge that anything is amiss . I have asked him calmly if he expects me to tolerate the things he does....and he calmly asks whats for dinner. I tell him I know he wasn't where he said he was for three days and that he wasn't alone. He says let's not fight baby. I tell hi I have seen the boarding passes, train tickets. He says nonsense, lets not fight sweetheart.
I tell him he has been absent from the family home for 7 nights out of 10 days, does he think that is normal. Ask him where he has been. He says it doesn't matter he is home now. Lets not fight darling.
I tell him he clearly doesn't want to be here or with me, so why pretend. He says I love you and what are we having for dinner?
I say you are leaving me no option but to speak to you through a lawyer, is that what you want? He says don't be silly darling.
So.....I then went to see my mum, confessed the nightmare I have lived in for about 5 years and that i am done. Utterly done. It was very emotional and considering that DH presents a gregarious kind outgoing persona it was hard for my mum to take in. However she completely believes me, every word and is supporting me fully, as will the rest of my family when they know.
My lovely mum has made me an appt at her lawyer tomorrow afternoon. I am clear that this marriage is over I want out.
I have not addressed the issue with DH since my last statement of do I need to correspond with you through a lawyer is that it?
Therefore I am still in the family home, as we have two DCs who are primary school age and frankly he isn't fit to look after them. My mum does not have room for me, though she has offered her couch etc. Meanwhile DH is happy as larry, singing when he got up this morning, attempting to chat normally to me. I am completely ignoring him which he cannot be oblivious to, yet he carries on.
He thinks that I will back down as usual and go back to being a good wife. I won't.
So, what do I do tomorrow - I know we need to agree access/care of the DCs , we own our own home , quite large mortgage. He is the main earner but I have recently had a promotion and I believe I can support myself. What will the lawyer ask? Do I need to take proof of anything with me? How will DH be notified? I feel I should warn him, though I have already told him at the weekend.
I honestly do not know how he will react. He will be furious that he has been exposed as what he is to my mum. I think he may try to cajole me. He then may get mad.
My one friend that is aware says he sounds like some kind of sociopath with no conscience whatsoever. A total and utter belief in himself.