Advice for first solicitor appointment.

[EFG123]

Any advice would be welcome.

They've asked me to take ID, is there anything else its worth taking or will this be a more general chat about the process etc. ?

My priority at the moment is finding a way of reaching a financial agreement as that's causing lots if tension, even if we don't formally start divorce proceedings just yet we need to agree something legally binding.

I think H knows more about what we are both entitled to/not entitled to than I think he's letting on and is anxious about what advice i might receive.

I think the first meeting is usually to discuss the grounds for divorce but it might be a good idea to take your marriage certificate, plus anything that is financially related, such as bank statements and details of his pension if he has one etc. Good luck.

I'm dreading it, but it's another think i need to face.

Remember that if it doesn't feel right with this solicitor you can always try another one. It took me 4 goes to find one that I have confidence in. She has successfully defended me 5 times now and she completely gets my ex. She's awesome.

Go in with notes for you and them. Write the details of the situation. Some kind of timeline is useful with major purchases / life changes on it, for them.

For you write a list of questions.
Stages, delays etc. if x happens then there will be y, but if a happens you'll have to do b.

Ask for realistic expectations for the future in terms of money, housing, access etc.

efg wishing you all the best.
I have been through this process myself in the last few months.and I echo what deck says-prepare for it to get ugly.if there's no chance of resolution you mah be best just going straight down the divorce route-i set out initially looking for a separation agreement but quickly realised that going down the divorce route was the better option.i am so glad that I filed for divorce and am nearly free.

Thanks everyone, I think our financial situation is fairly straightforward, and I've been in charge of the finances mainly so I think I'm clear, there's not much he can hide from me. There aren't any savings I don't know about, and if there are any debts I don't know about he can keep them. Pensions I have an idea about but no actual figures. We've agreed a maintenance figure already, based around the on-line calculator, but of course I need that in writing.

I would like to settle the financial side of things quickly and cleanly, I know how his brain works and how he likes things done, which helps. I have a plan in mind to talk through with the solicitor, he may tell me I'm mad but I think he'll probably think it's OK for a quick and simple split.

One of the issues is that he thinks we can split equity etc. informally without involving solicitors, which I'm clearly not going to agree to, I want to reach a binding settlement, where he can't come back later and ask for more.

I work and can afford to provide for me and the DC, with maintenance, we won't be rich but we'll be OK, and I can try to increase my income later, so while I should come out on the upside of any agreement (as DC are with me) I'm not likely to be awarded the whole house or anything like that should this end up in a messy court battle. His financial future looks a lot worse than mine TBH, given the path it looks like his life is taking, although his pension will be much better he'll be paying a bigger mortgage for longer.

I can making additional pension contributions later if I get this right and I have a reasonable expectation of some inheritance.

Sorry to post and run.