Does anyone else feel like they are always on the periphery of friendship groups?

[Primarkable]

I have always felt this way.

I don't really know why. I generally get on with most people and am "friends" with lots of people but I am always on the outside.

At school I was on the outside of a group of friends.

At my DCs school I am again on the outside of things.

I was on a mums club forum when I had my youngest child, and was again on the outside.

I started a new job 6 months ago and although I get on very well with everyone at work on a one-to-one level, I am not considered to be part of the gang so to speak. For example if everyone is going to lunch I will often not be asked because I think I am just forgotten about. It happened today.

I suppose being on the periphery of things is better in some ways as I have seen many friendship groups implode with huge arguments and bad feeling, whilst I do tend to avoid that as I'm not one of the pivotal people in these groups.

Does anyone else feel the same way as me?

Are you introverted?

I'm not sure really.

I'm not painfully shy/quiet and do appear confident but I do also like my own company. I'm not one of the loud ones in a group.

If you want to be at the centre of friendship groups, you have to organise activities!

I have done/do, Bonsoir.

IME it's the ones that don't bother organising anything that are the popular ones...

I feel like this too, I'm by no means introverted but not in your face either. I have a family now and wonder how I'm suppose to get closer to people when I have all the kids things going on and family life etc. am I suppose to make arrangers to meet up with people every week?

At work I chat with everyone, have a laugh with everyone, act like everyone else does, yet I am probably the last person they would think of in our office to invite anywhere.

I feel like this, although I have a couple of close friends who include me in stuff but I usually have to call them.

One friend told me the other day she had a small hen night out all dressed as nuns and I had a pang of sadness as I thought 'why wasn't I included?' I would've loved it.

Yes, I definitely am. And I think it has pros and cons. I'm better with people one to one generally. In some ways I am a very confident outgoing person, but I also have some anxiety issues. Like you, was always on the periphery of several groups at school, and on adult life this has persisted, including school gate friends, and dd also seems to be the same. But when I observe this in dd, i see it as a strong trait, in that she is warm and friendly with everyone, confident enough to play with lots of people without needing to cling to the same people all the time, is interested in lots of different people and lots of people want to be friends with her. Maybe that's true of us too, OP!

When I moved area I had to invest in building reladtionships. I bought 'left over' cake and chatted idly to people. Asked people what they had done at the weekend and involved myself.

When I returned to my old area even though I maintained loose contact with my old friends I had to start again.

If you catch wind they are going again just say "oh I'll join you I'm famished"

I'm the same. I'm an introvert, although I'm not at all shy and my job involves a fair amount of outgoing- ness and people wrangling.

I've always been on the outside of groups. I try not to let it bother me because it's clearly not going to change. In all honesty, I find groups tiring and I have to deal with people all the time at work so I don't particularly want to spend my free time with work people, even if they are very nice.

I prefer one on one or just time alone/with Dh to be honest.

Do you want to be more involved in these groups?

Yes I do. I'm pretty quiet and think I put people off as I guess I'm a bit different in some of my views. I have a really good friend who doesn't live locally and I would love just one or two good friends here but I don't have them. I would love someone to ring up for a chat and actually feel like they valued spending time with me. I have invested time in people in the past and then later realised that they have just not felt the same about me at all, and I guess I have come across as annoying. Unintentionally though. I'd just really like some gal pals.

I used to feel like that but l found when l gave up caring people came after me. It's like we give off a hidden message of need that puts people off but once l let that go l have more close friends..they call text me invite me more... And l only see the subtle ddifference when l actually think about it.