How to improve dh's sexual confidence

[dozenandone]

DH was pretty sexually inexperienced apart from the odd fairly unsuccessful fumble before we met. He was also brought up by really strict and oppressive parents. We have been together for 14 years now and things have moved on a lot since then. Sex is really good apart from when I initiate something different where I think he loses his confidence and his erection becomes a bit soft (sorry tmi). I don't draw attention to it, but it does stop me from trying new things which is a shame. I don't want to make this into an issue as we do have a good sex life even if it is a bit samey.

Is it because you're doing something new right when he's "in the groove" so to speak, and maybe it breaks his focus? Does he participate enthusiastically in the "different" things you initiate? Do you say to him "Hey I'm gonna get on top now/sit on your face/stick my finger up your bum" or do you just do it?

How do you initiate.

Have you discussed the new the different things you try try before you do it? Do you ask if it's the right time before you try it?

For example last night I started to give him a blow job before we had sex but I got the feeling he was unable to relax and enjoy it (as he didn't really keep his erection) but was fine when we got back into what we normally do.

Sorry I x posted. No I didn't ask - just did it.

Well there's your problem.

You know he has issues so perhaps changing your approach would help him.

Start by discussion when you aren't having sex. Ask him during sex what he'd like you to do next. You want to embolden him in sex rather than taking control and not giving him the opportunity to blossom for himself.

Thanks for that. I never thought about asking him first for some reason. I will try asking him what he would like to try before we have sex.