Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

only love can hurt like this

14 replies

mydeepestfear · 22/03/2015 18:57

Hi i just need abit of advice.
i have been involved with a older man for some time we met up a few times for chats and coffee then it developed into a sexual relationship this went on for some months then we both got partners and just chatted now and then. We were loyal to our partners but then when we both were single again we started meeting up for sex, over time i have fallen for this man depsite the age gap, he has told me he has feelings for me and wanted us to be together but recently he told me coldly we will never be together properly and didnt speak for 4 weeks to me.
The last few days hes been in touch sending txts mainly at night like ' miss you' thinking of you' etc im really confused in thinking what he wants, he knows i am in love with him . i have been tempted to txt him back because i really miss him being in my life what do people think?
Thanks

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 22/03/2015 18:58

I think it's really obvious he thinks of you as a fuck buddy and nothing more.

His actions are who he is.

Find someone better who wants a relationship.

LaurieFairyCake · 22/03/2015 18:59

And sending texts at night are 'booty calls'

JohnFarleysRuskin · 22/03/2015 19:04

This is the title of a paloma faith song, right?
I was laughing about it the other day, saying what an absolute load of bollocks. If it hurts that much, it's not love.
Love is caring and helping and believing and bringing the best out in another. Is that what's happening to you?

sparing · 22/03/2015 19:05

You need to scrape your self esteem back up out of the basement and tell him to fuck off.

Seriouslyffs · 22/03/2015 19:15

Are you single now? Cut all ties,
do some work on yourself and give yourself 6 months singledom.

paxtecum · 22/03/2015 19:48

He just wants a shag.

Block his number.

Forget him.

tinymeteor · 22/03/2015 19:50

What paxtecum said. Sorry.

bberry · 22/03/2015 19:52

Love doesn't hurt...

He doesn't love you, block/delete/move on

gamerchick · 22/03/2015 19:55

Yeah you're his fuck buddy. Nothing wrong with that but only if it's agreed.

For someone who is like a bit of an addiction you have to go totally NC. If you don't, you're open to fall into the same pattern over and over again and it'll squish you in the end.

I'm sorry man.

Wotsitsareafterme · 22/03/2015 20:14

He's using you and maintaining you on the back burner for the next times he's bored and horny. Which is a disgusting way to treat someone

ALaughAMinute · 22/03/2015 20:18

Ignore his texts, he's not the right man for you.

springydaffs · 22/03/2015 23:16

Well, personally, I find the song itself painful. Not just the insane message but all that wailing ffs

He is using you. He is not a nice man. Darling, you are worth so much more than this.

As pp says, go cold turkey, it's the only way - zero contact, block his number. Get yourself weaned off, ready to meet someone who values and respects you xx

flatbellyfella · 23/03/2015 10:59

If he loved you, he should worship the ground you stand on, & want to spend every spare moment with you.

Pagwatch · 23/03/2015 11:03

Love doesn't hurt.
Being irrationally hung up on a man who isn't really interested hurts. It's sad but it's not the same thing.

Continuing to delude yourself that mooning over a man who makes it plain through his actions that he just wants sex is a bad choice. Chose differently.

Flip