Long marriage, two young teen children and STBX H and we work in a joint owned business, so even when the house gets sold we will have a lot of contact.
Our marriage has always been a bit rocky and I finally snapped with all the manipulation, self centred behaviour, emotional, verbal and occasional low level physical abuse on the part of H.
Right up until the last straw I've always longed for that acceptance from him that his behaviour has been the cause of the breakdown, but of course his argument is I have provoked him by not being his idea of the perfect wife. Of course after the first 5 years of our relationship I did begin to assert myself more as I felt myself going under which was when the physical and very verbal (name calling, accusations, screaming at me) started.
I've tried so many times to get him to accept this entitled side of his character as he does have another very nice side, but it's denial, hostility and argument. So I stopped bothering and started divorce proceedings.
Since then he has alternated between anger and abuse and silence. He also says he still loves me! I don't love or like him but I know there is a nice side to H but only directed towards me if things are going his way and then I do warm to him, so my emotions are very mixed. I want to feel nothing.
I don't want another relationship. I have great friends and family and feel no need but I just can't seem to stop wishing H would take responsibility and at least have a friendship. I could emotionally detach - by that I mean no have any feeling at all for H at all - if I didn't see him again but working together (no choice here) makes it difficult. How do I detach from someone I have had good times with and 2 children because it's making me unhappy to think of him at all. I just want him to be like a work colleague and nothing more.