You have met someone, what would you consider a good time frame for them to meet your parents and meet your child.

[brentonstripeandredlipstick]

As above, thank you

Months, more than six probably. Wait and see how it goes and all that. Watching carefully...

I know the standard advice on MN is six months, but I'm not sure I agree. I think an important measure of a potential new partner is how they interact with your children, as well as with family and friends.

My OH was very keen for me to meet his DCs (who live with him) and I met them less than a month after meeting him. He had already met my teenagers as I met him when he was doing some work on my house. That we could each respect the other's relationship with and responsibilities for their DC was a big, big deal. Our relationship couldn't have gone anywhere until this was established, so I think it was right to do it early on. It was also good for the DCs to meet the person their parent was spending time with.

I'd known him for only a few weeks before he met my dc and my mum. Dc were just 4, 3 and 10 months and I was desperate to keep them safe after their father disappeared without a trace. It sounds really bad but he kind of engineered a way of meeting them. It made me feel uncomfortable at the time and in hindsight I should have made sure it was longer. However, 4 years on, he's now my DH. We have a dd together and one on the way, and my DH is also the only father that my dc know.

I'm presuming the 6 months comments are for meeting children, not each others parents?

In my case my boyf met my kids after about two months. To me it was absolutely paramount that he interacted with my dc with interest and respect. We've been together 7 months and this is one of the things I absolutely love about him. He is better with my dc than their own father is mind you that's not difficult

If I met someone else in the future, I would introduce the dc soonish again if I felt it was going somewhere (because it's part of the mix and something I'd want to evaluate) and later or not at all if I thought they were not worthy.

Think it very much depends on the set-up. If it's a grand passion that develops fast it may seem natural to do it in a shorter timeframe than six months (though caution should be the order of the day with grand passion.)

If it's a slow burn or the person is an existing friend he may already have met the kids anyway.

I think the six month rule is a good guideline but it's not a hard rule.

I would say caution, emotional intelligence and listening to your instincts are more important than having a timetable.

And what if it was just a meeting as in ' meet them in a park and have an ice cream' then go home, in the same manner that you would meet up with friends and their children and do the same.

I'm struggling to see how that is so awful.

also, any advice on meeting each others parents?

DP net DS after about 2 months in a very similar way to how you've just described.
Went and met him on his lunch break for a coffee so it was just part of a shopping trip with DS. We now all live together quite happily.
DS was 8ish.

I was very cautious and I have only ever introduced DD and my parents to one man I've dated -my DH - although I had been different relationships before that for up to 2 years. It just never felt right with previous partners and I didn't want to do introductions unless I was very sure of the relationship going further. Plus I haven't always associated every relationship with settling down - for me they were a fun dating experience between adults, not necessarily someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with.

DD met DH after one year, and my parents didn't meet DH until we'd got engaged (after four years together!). I didn't move in with DH until we got married either. It was the right time scale for my own family, I wouldn't have wanted to move any faster or have had DD meet lots of different men and get attached to them. I didn't feel that I needed to test DH by making him interact with DD or my family - I felt I could tell how he treated others by his general social interactions with me and people around us.

Parents, I met my dh's by accident when I was out for a meal with him, he was separated not that long and still living in marital home. That was awkward and too soon.

Next meeting when he was looking at house and they just turned up, luckily all agreed he should buy the house. Then I think they invited me to dinner. That was 3 months in and was the right time. Knew it was more than a fling but might have just been on the rebound.

So parents less problematic, it's nice for them to know you are dating.

His kids I met too soon, but kept at quite a distance which worked. Didn't and haven't ever thrown self into SM role. Might be different if you both have kids.

Post divorce , dated one man, now DH. Both knew from day one. Introduced him to my DM within a week. Introduced him and his Dc to me and my dc's after a month. Only mistake we made was for him to move in with me immediately , his dc couldn't understand why he was living with someone else's dc Too much for them and too selfish of us. He didn't move in with me for two more years. He rented a flat in my town and had his dc there every other weekend. I built my relationship with him/them from there. My dc came with me if they chose to. Or stayed with their dad. My advice would be that there is no 'ideal' time. Don't push dc together, just because you love their dad doesn't mean they will automatically be suited to each other. In my case the eldest three are firm friends whilst my youngest have absolutely nothing in common with DH's youngest. No animosity just different lives..don't force it.

Theres no perfect time, but i'd give it at least 3 months. By 3 months, i think you know if its a keeper or a fling thats going to fizzle out

No time frame parent wise, although surely people only introduce them when it's likely to get serious. Child wise, at least nine to twelve months. It does children no good to see frequent partners and time is needed to ensure the person is right to be part of their lives. Most people are on their best behaviour within the first few months.