Ffs

[Lula2515]

Don't know how to link to previous threads..but basically my DP is a complete arsehole. Finally decided today to tell him that I was leaving. He managed to get me to agree to counselling but then tonight did something else and I'd had enough.

Now he's dropped the bombshell that he wants 50/50 shared care of my darling gorgeous baby. The one he's not bothered at all with for the last 5 months. Can he do that? I don't know if he's just bluffing in a last ditch attempt to control me or if he's trying to get out of child maintenance but I'm gutted and scared.

Any advice?

50/50 is for the legal aspect.... Shared care

Not 50 at one house and 50 at another, that's not how it works

I would agree - just leave. Go to CMO for maintenance, sort out your benefits and let him take you to court for access. Can you go back to your Mum's?

My ex threatened 50/50 - he hasn't bothered to see his children in 3 years......

We agreed 50-50 with DS4, but he was 11 years old at the time (and even that wasn't very successful as it turned out). I can't imagine it being ordered for a 5-month-old.

Do not, I repeat not, go into this without some legal advice of your own. You can probably manage most of the paperwork yourself but you absolutely need someone who is experienced in family law to tell you what's what, even the bad news. You don't need me to tell you that there is no way the arse is going to honestly tell you what your rights are and then comply with them.

The norm with access is every other weekend and one night during the week. But for a baby of a few months old I think it would be much less, or shorter periods of time. Do you own any property together?

They ALL do this. It's their one last ditch attempt to bring you back into line. Mine got solicitors and social services involved. I stayed calm, played the long game and he got nowhere. He barely parents at all now if you can call it that.

Keep steady and stay on plan. Take one thing at a time to deal with.

Presumably as it is your child together, then he has a right to 50/50?
If it's 50/50 shared care, then wouldn't you be entitled to nothing in maintenance (as he's already maintaining 50% of the time)?
Or is that why he's going for 50/50?