I have had several threads on here over the last year or so but am trying to start afresh so this is a new name.
H and I separated last summer after he confessed to an affair. I obviously fell apart in all kinds of ways, but one thing I had to cling onto was my career. It felt like my only success and, as I have always been the breadwinner, it was also crucial for practical reasons as h had no income then (has since started low-paid work). When the affair came to light, people at work were great. I am a sec teacher and our department is close-knit and everyone rallied round. I had a small amount of time off in the summer term but h didn't finally move out until 3 days before term started in September.
I am second in our department and the HoD is new in the role. There is usually a third management role in the department and that is presently unfilled but will be filled for next September. There was only one real contender but a few outsiders on the periphery and the obvious choice has done everything she can this year to make it known that she would be a good choice. I line manage her and see her as a friend, sort of - we don't see each other socially but get on very well and often talk about personal stuff. I told her many times that I was worried about fulfilling my role while adjusting to single-parenthood and, as well as general reassurances, she repeatedly said that I could delegate everything to her as she was after the promotion.
As it turns out, I can't delegate as I have no set management responsibilities as the new HoD doesn't seem to work like that. I think he has cottoned on to the situation and likes the fact that she will do anything as it allows him to do vey little in terms of management. His style seems to be to mention something to both of us and then, in the blink of an eye, this woman will have done something in response.
This is already getting so long, but in short I feel like I am being pushed out and she has recently made several comments about doing stuff that is 'my job' and 'for me', though this is not the case. I get the impression that she is feeling resentful about everything she has done, though it is really not that much, she took most of it on herself (I personally have never told her to do anything) and I have done plenty of stuff unpaid to prove myself earlier in my career when I didn't know her, but it feels like from the way she speaks to me now, that she thinks I am some kind of freeloader.
I know it all sounds so petty, but it is making me so incredibly miserable and I don't know how to deal with it. Work has been the one thing I had that was not messed up, and now it feels like I will have to give it up, or at least the management aspect, because people think I do nothing for my TLR. It is starting to feel like people are talking about me and the whole marriage break-up is now firmly in the past, but it isn't.
Any advice would be great, and I'm sorry it's so dull.