I am 8 months pregnant with my second child and have no one to talk to about this. Basically, my husband and I keep having the same argument and it is only going to get worse when we are sleep deprived with a newborn.
He says I am always sniping at him and picking fights. I don't agree (obviously!) Though I am aware being heavily pregnant I am more irritable. But how I see it is that he is really irritable and hates his work (I work full time too but because I earn less he belittles it) and wants to escalate everything into a massive fight each time.
Take tonight. I woke up after falling asleep when putting the toddler to bed, and when I went into the living room I made a comment about how there was plates everywhere after husband had eaten dinner. I picked up after him anyway and went to wash the dishes (he never does the dishes and never notices that I do). His reaction was to say angrily to me that I shouldn't have a go at him and that it's my fault we live in a pigsty. I decide to ignore him, not wanting to engage with him at all, and this makes him blow up at me, at one point snatching a newspaper I was using to wrap food scraps in and throwing it all over the kitchen so that I have to get down on the floor and clean up the mess he just created. He proceeds to call me names, yelling at me, and I do what I normally do in an argument, try not to say anything and just ignore me. This just makes him angrier.
Anyway, so the last time we had an argument, about who does more around the house, with childcare, he said I am the one who always escalates it, so that it is always more my fault that we are fighting. This time round, because I apparently started the argument, and he was the one who escalated it, I am again the one more at fault for the fight. Every time it is always my fault and apparently I am not kind or respectful enough of him, and that I don't love him anymore. I do still love him, but at times like this I find it very hard to be nice to him.
I feel that if he thinks I am making sniping remarks, he should just ignore them as I don't mean anything behind them. But he sees that as him being a doormat and therefore wants to react to it like this each time. And it is all my fault.
Sorry for the rant, I have no one to talk to about this.