She's left him!!!

[Sleepingbunnies]

I have posted before about my friend who as toing and froing from her abusive partner and she's finally done it! 4 weeks ago she moved all her stuff out...

I couldn't be prouder, now here comes the BUT.... She wants to live with me I have no idea how to say no. I cannot afford to subsidise another adult, she stayed last night but I have 2 small children and last time she stayed she emotionally drained me.

How do I help without letting her stay?! And how do I tell her to leave? She turned up last night saying another friend had asked her to leave so now she has NOwhere to go

I think you need to be straight with her. Tell her that you want to help her for as long as you can, and you believe if you borrow a bit of money / juggle commitments around you can provide a roof until XX. Then help her get sorted with the authorities. Ring Women's Aid.

This is very difficult. I look forward to reading the advice of wiser people.

Does she not work at all?
Is she on her own or with with kids?
I think you should help her get herself a place.
Contact CAB and the council and get her housed asap.
You may have to have her with you for another day or so though.
Is that do-able?
But be honest.
Tell you her you are living to the limit already and cannot support her as well.
You will help her as much as you can but she can't stay indefinitely.
As PP says, contact Womens Aid and see what they advise as well.

Can she look on gumtree for a house share?

I understand that you don't want her there but try not to kick her when she is down, of course she isn't your responsibility but nowhere to go will lead her straight back to him.

Have agreed to let her stay til the weekend.. Am looking at house shares for her but it don't think she really wants to leave.

I don't know what to do

From a brief scan, you received a lot of advice in June last year to distance yourself. That looked good advice at the time and it looks, frankly, excellent now. You say in your current OP you "couldn't be prouder" which suggests a worrying degree of over-involvement; this is not your child or spouse we are talking about. Disengage.

Oh dear, this is worrying. Its irrelevant whether she wants to stay or not, its your home not hers! Major boundary issue here - literally ie what's yours is yours, not hers. Too bad if she doesn't want a house share, this is how it goes, she can't be fussy. Sounds like you're far too involved.