I’m 48 and have a 19 year old daughter away at university. I’ve been in a relationship with a man for 3 years and believe that I need to end it but am terrified of doing this! We don’t live together but spend every weekend together from Friday evening to Monday morning. We also speak on the phone each day. He is 53, divorced with 2 children aged 16 and 13 who he does see regularly.
On the whole he is a lovely, kind man and we get on brilliantly and have a lot of fun together and really enjoy each other’s company. But. And it’s a big but, he is very moody. He has frequent bouts of being “down” and when he’s like this he withdraws, is very quiet and if he’s at my house when it happens the hostility is palpable. Often it’s about me (he admits this). He has big trust issues and thinks I’m up to something behind his back. Which I’d like to add I’m definitely not. I effectively get the silent treatment when I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I never know when these moods are going to happen and they can ruin weekends. We’ve talked ad nauseum about it and nothing ever changes. He’s had more therapy/counselling than you can shake a stick at and admits that this issue has effectively ruined every relationship he has ever had. I’ve also got a professional background in mental health so I’m fully aware of what these mood swings could be in terms of an underlying depression etc. He refuses to try any sort of medication though. But that’s another issue!
There are so many examples I could give but there isn’t enough time to be honest.
I think I’m generally just lonely. I don’t have many friends. I work full time (more than full time) and am financially pretty secure (though not secure enough that don’t need to work full time). I’m intelligent, successful and attractive and am told I’m a lot of fun. So why am I so terrified of dumping this man??