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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

scared of ending relationship!

20 replies

ohnoessexgirl · 18/03/2015 13:09

I’m 48 and have a 19 year old daughter away at university. I’ve been in a relationship with a man for 3 years and believe that I need to end it but am terrified of doing this! We don’t live together but spend every weekend together from Friday evening to Monday morning. We also speak on the phone each day. He is 53, divorced with 2 children aged 16 and 13 who he does see regularly.
On the whole he is a lovely, kind man and we get on brilliantly and have a lot of fun together and really enjoy each other’s company. But. And it’s a big but, he is very moody. He has frequent bouts of being “down” and when he’s like this he withdraws, is very quiet and if he’s at my house when it happens the hostility is palpable. Often it’s about me (he admits this). He has big trust issues and thinks I’m up to something behind his back. Which I’d like to add I’m definitely not. I effectively get the silent treatment when I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I never know when these moods are going to happen and they can ruin weekends. We’ve talked ad nauseum about it and nothing ever changes. He’s had more therapy/counselling than you can shake a stick at and admits that this issue has effectively ruined every relationship he has ever had. I’ve also got a professional background in mental health so I’m fully aware of what these mood swings could be in terms of an underlying depression etc. He refuses to try any sort of medication though. But that’s another issue!
There are so many examples I could give but there isn’t enough time to be honest.
I think I’m generally just lonely. I don’t have many friends. I work full time (more than full time) and am financially pretty secure (though not secure enough that don’t need to work full time). I’m intelligent, successful and attractive and am told I’m a lot of fun. So why am I so terrified of dumping this man??

OP posts:
OddBodkins · 18/03/2015 13:33

Is it because you fear he will have some sort of breakdown? Have you hinted at it before? What did he say?

ohnoessexgirl · 18/03/2015 13:37

No it's not that I don't think he will. I'm not entirely sure why I feel so terrified. I suspect that I'm just frightened of being on my own I guess.

OP posts:
ohnoessexgirl · 18/03/2015 13:39

I also think I need people to see what I've written and confirm that this relationship seems unsustainable. Mad I know!

OP posts:
Granville72 · 18/03/2015 13:42

I don't have any friends or close family. I have a 2.5yr old son, I'm 42.

My OH has just ended it. Estate agents coming Friday to do their thing. I work full time from home. Not only is he making me and our son homeless, but he's putting me out of business as well (until I get settled and set up again).

You seem to be doing well for yourself and you're secure and settled. As you say, I think it's loneliness and possibly the aftermath of the split that it may trigger with him.

AnotherManicMonday · 18/03/2015 13:43

It's not mad to see what you've written. I've made threads before under a different user name about my abusive XP and hadn't thought things were that bad but just not quite right so when I've wrote them and read them back its shocked my that that's my life on paper.

Don't be afraid of being alone from what you've wrote you can easily build up your social circle and enjoy life without a man until something comes along that works for you and makes you happy

AttilaTheMeerkat · 18/03/2015 13:50

What do you get out of this relationship now?. This is really going nowhere is it?. You've had three years of him, you do not want another 3 days of this let alone x more number of years.

Do not stay with him out of a fear of being lonely; I think you are pretty much lonely within this one sided relationship with him as it is. He is holding all the cards here and has you running around.

I think you are lonely and need further outlets. This man is not right for you at all is he particularly given his issues besides which he does not want your help or support. You're too close to him to be of any real use to him anyway and he likes to be unhappy. Moody men are more than adept at bringing their chosen victim down with them and that is what is happening to you here. He will not change; this is who he is. Look at his frankly awful relationship history; what does that also suggest to you about him?. All those women cannot be wrong. Its him and have you considered that his behaviour may be abusive to boot?.

Do you think given your own professional background that you have on some level been trying to rescue and or save this man from himself?. Do you have rescuer and or saviour tendencies; if so these need to be severely reined in.

Be brave and call this a day; you do not have to explain why and just state that this is no longer working for you.

OddBodkins · 18/03/2015 14:02

Well it's up to you obviously. You don't have to split up with him if you don't want to but it seems quite depressing at times for you. His refusal to do anything about it must be extremely frustrating though. Honestly, you may find you feel relieved once you end it. It's much more lonely being in an unhappy relationship than single I think.

Jan45 · 18/03/2015 14:11

He won't address it because he doesn't want to, it's not an issue for him, just whoever is on the receiving end!

You know what you need to do, don't waste any more time with him, he is draining the life out of you, every weekend spent with him is another waste of your time.

pocketsaviour · 18/03/2015 14:15

"He’s had more therapy/counselling than you can shake a stick at"

There's a saying in AA: "It works if you work it."

This man can go and sit in a therapy session every afternoon for the rest of his life, but if he doesn't actually make changes then nothing will change. His refusal to consider medication makes it clear that he doesn't actually want to change.

You've wasted enough time on this loser. Be free of him. Start to do things you enjoy, which will bring you into contact with people who like similar things. Try to make connections with people at work. (Because when you're partnered up, it's easy to not think about doing this.) Just say "Hey does anyone fancy a team/office meal on payday? I've heard about a nice new Chinese place in town." Or "I really fancy seeing that new film, does anyone want to come with me?"

GoatsDoRoam · 18/03/2015 14:59

Any relationship that you are scared to end, is one that you should definitely not be in.

You can work out the "why" later. For now, for your own peace of mind and re-alignment with your own values, you should just end it.

SilverFishFly · 18/03/2015 21:22

It sounds that you know seperating is the right thing to do.

If going cold turkey is just to scary what about doing it bit by bit - speak on the phone every otherday then everyday. Have a horrible infective virus one weekend which you don't want him to catch! It may seem a bit of a passive approach but it just might give you a bit of breathing space to clear your head, experience being on your own for a bit and realise that it is fab!

SilverFishFly · 18/03/2015 21:24

Whoops
..every otherday rather then everyday ...
...infectious ...

My rubbish fingers & tired brain.

AlternativeTentacles · 18/03/2015 21:42

Problem with staying in a dead relationship because you are scared of being alone is that because you spend time in that relationship, you are not allowing yourself to meet someone that might actually be a good fit for you - so it ends up being a self-fulfilling prophesy in that you ARE alone, you just happen to spend time with someone who is not a good fit.

End it before you waste more years of your life.

championnibbler · 18/03/2015 23:43

man, he's hard work isn't he?
i would dump his ass.

Guiltypleasures001 · 19/03/2015 00:17

Oh op after 3 yrs of this you must be exhausted, ide rather be on my own than have to second guess if my weekend is going to be scuppered by him.

He is leaving a trail of unhappy women behind him, you've got empty nest syndrome possibly, dd at uni and he's your comfort blanket, trouble is he's not much comfort these days just smothering.

While your wasting time with him, your stopping yourself from getting out and meeting someone new or even new friends.
You can't claim these years back you know Thanks

springydaffs · 19/03/2015 00:42

You'll probably be mightily relieved when you dump him and meet yourself again!

I don't like the sound of him at all. In your forays around mh have you looked at abuse, specifically emotional abuse dynamic?

ohnoessexgirl · 19/03/2015 09:14

Thank you for all your replies. Yes I have thought about the emotional abuse signs but clearly I have ignored them.
A good example is last night. I didn't call him as I really didn't want to speak to him. I went over to see my sister for the evening. When I got home he texted me pretty much implying I was out with someone else. I think I just need to give myself a swift kick up the arse and get on with my life!

OP posts:
GoatsDoRoam · 19/03/2015 10:46

Don't kick yourself - what a cruel way to treat yourself - but do kick him to the kerb.

Guiltypleasures001 · 19/03/2015 12:15

Hi op your the same age as me, and I now find a lot of comfort in saying the following quite often "oh do fuck off dear" I'm normally jesting when I say it indoors, may I suggest a more forceful definition of the F in the fuck and the D in the dear Wink Wine

WilsonIsNotAFox · 19/03/2015 13:45

I was with XP for 6 years. After 3 years I knew it wasn't going to work he could be controlling and I began to find him boring and self absorbed. However he was helpful with my DC and we had good times together, so I let it carry on though I knew it wasn't right for me.

After 6 years he dumped me for someone else.

So I'd say end the relationship on your terms and end it now. Don't waste your life with someone who treats you badly.

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