How to choose a SHL....

[Toastandstrawberryjam]

S* Hot Lawyer that is.

I can't link to my last thread as on my phone but I need to start pushing ahead with the next stage.

I've met two solicitors, both nice in their own way. But I'm unsure which to choose or if either of them are right for me. They both seem to favour the softly softly, let's not antagonise your DH approach. While I can see the benefits of this I'm not sure that will work if he starts not behaving. So now I'm stuck in limbo still.

Any advice!

Have you contacted WA for advice, or have looked at solicitor directories to see who has experience of DV and abuse?

You can ask them what they recommend if the initial softy approach doesn't work.

Will contact my local WA today once kids are in school. Solicitor directories? Can I google that?

It's good to get s recommendation. Whereabouts are you? I would definitely recommend someone experienced in difficult/abusive men, if that is what you're dealing with.

If you're in London, I'd recommend mine - he said recently my husband is the worst case he's seen in 15 years - what an accolade!

Purely from my own experience I wouldn't recommend the softly softly approach if he is abusive. I used a solicitor with this approach for a year and got absolutely nowhere he rang rings around her. I swapped to a no nonsense solicitor, basically he gave one chance to be reasonable and if that was ignored he took action. After just over a year using him I will be divorced with all the finances sorted and my ex is also one of the most awkward he has ever come across.

I have used one listing before, but can't remember which one it was.
But there are some around, like this from Divorce Aid www.divorceaid.co.uk/legal/solicitors-costs.htm

Oh, found it
www.resolution.org.uk/find_a_specialist/

That listing was great! So presumably somebody on there who is specialising in DA cases should be good at them?

This is a minefield!!

I'm in Essex unfortunately or I would take up the London recommendation.

Not necessarily good.
I'd still ask WA for their experience. Maybe post on their messageboard too?

I used Resolution site to find my SHL. Initially I was going to try for resolution approach, so found sol trained in this. (Ex wouldn't play ball - surprise!) Sol was also 1) a woman and 2) had graduated 2 decades ago (this is on their profile) so I knew she'd have wide range of experience, including dealing with arsey STBXs. She was excellent :)