Brief situation.
We have a 10 month old baby and a 3 year old. The 10 month old does not sleep & never has, suffers from terrible reflux and is exclusively breastfed- not a big solid fan but eats bits here and there. Sleeps in cot for maybe an hour at a time through the night, will only nap being held or in pushchair. Breastfeeds for comfort a lot, although this is decreasing now. Stopped feeding to sleep. Working in bad sleeping habits but reflux makes this harder. Baby does not in anyway settle with dh. Baby number one was the complete opposite, slept through from 2 months, did everything perfectly, routined, always napped and slept in cot, went down awake and soothed itself etc etc. DH was amazing with dc1. Far less so with dc2.
Anyway, none of that is the point, just the back story. I'm working in sorting baby's various issues out.
I'm a SAHM. I literally have had the baby with me 24/7 for the last 10 months and when I say with me I mean at the most touching distance away! Most days I cope fine, the odd day it all gets a bit much- today is the 2nd day of my first period since baby was born.
Tonight after trying for over 2 hours to get the baby into cot (asleep the whole time since 7pm just screamed each time out down then had to battle to get back to sleep and repeat times what felt like infinity) I returned to the living room with sleeping baby after another failed attempt and said 'God I understand how people need to leave baby's to scream and go outside for a few minutes to calm down!' and dh said 'Do you want me to try to help you out?' This bugged me. (Probably because of hormones & sleep depravation) but I thought at the time it was because the baby won't settle with him- dh constantly uses this as a reason not to try- gives up totally stressed out within minutes then I have to start all over again with a frantic baby so now I've accepted it's easier for me to just do it (I know this is a problem in itself- dh is an amazing husband and father btw and we have a lovely relationship- very happy) but admittedly when he said this my thought was 'yes you can try but it'll fail and I'll end up having to do it anyway, how nice for you to just do your own thing etc' so admittedly I glared at him. He went mad. I went mad back. I cried. I tried to explain its so hard sometimes, never having a break it's very stressful etc all stuff I've never feared even admit to myself as I feel so guilty even thinking it because I love my babies and feel bad even rebuking anything negative. Especially as 95% of the time everything's literally perfect. I stood crying having fessed up that I'm stressed at the relentlessness of the lack of sleep/battling with a baby and he listened I it all- looked up and said really nastily 'just because you're atressed Theres no excuse for taking it out on me.'