Advice needed to help friend - going through hell with teenager on drugs

[MyballsareSandy]

He's 16, has been into weed for several months, recently moving on to harder stuff, although he denies it, and he's like a completely different person.

Disappears for days at a time, turns up in the middle of the night turning the house over looking for money or stuff to sell. Brings back his druggie mates when friend is at work. Given her a black eye when she refused to give him money. Smashed things up in the house, holes in doors etc.

It's got to the stage where everything is locked away as she can't trust him - he's been stealing from her. Also stealing from local shops, police involved.

Poor friend is a shadow of her former self, has been signed off work and I'm concerned she is having a breakdown over all this.

I've no idea how to help or what to suggest, other than pressing charges when he assault her or steals from her. She's reluctant to do this as it will give him a criminal record. He's already going to end up with no GCSEs as he doesn't to school.

Such a sad situation . He used to be such a loving boy, now to hear him talk to his mum it's like a stranger. Heartbreaking.

Mostly just by being there for her and providing a haven.

DHs son was like this, and indeed it was heartbreaking. He was violent at home and stole stuff, they did start pressing charges and getting the police involved. Keeping it from the police won't help - at some stage he is very likely to be violent or steal from someone who will go to the police or worse, will come after him for money in other ways. I think the fact DSS was known to the authorities early did help get his family some protection and get him some residential help.

DSS is now 21. There was no sudden breakthrough and he's not a perfect citizen by any means but he does hold down a minimum wage job and the violence has stopped.

Police, every time. He is fucking up his future by doing this not your friend by phoning the police. Also I'm not sure if police involvement would lead to help for him, but obviously unless he wants help it'll be fruitless.

For your friend, just be there for her, as pp said if you can provide a safe haven that would mean a lot to her.

I can understand that her instinct is to protect her son from the consequences of his actions, but in this case, that's the wrong thing to do.

At the moment he is getting away with his illegal behaviour so unless there are some consequences that matter (to him) he will continue behaving this way.

I would try to let your friend gently know that at the moment she's enabling him and she needs to get tough instead (I am sure you can put that more diplomatically than me) But at the end of the day it is her decision whether to involve police.

Thanks all, so difficult for her but I agree she needs to involve the police every time,

I'm worried she's going to do something silly, she's beyond stressed, I've never seen anything like it.