DP are due to book our wedding next month, 12 months in advance of the actual day. The thing is I don't think I want to marry him anymore. There are multiple issues in our relationship.
The main issue is that he has a problem with my kids who are 14 and 16. He's constantly moaning about them saying they're full of attitude, have no respect, are messy, lazy etc etc. A few weeks ago my (just turned) 16 year old asked me if I'd pick him up from work and take him to get his hair cut. I said I would and DP started moaning saying he shouldn't be expecting lifts at his age and should be sorting out his own haircuts etc now - yet he thinks nothing of ferrying his own 19 year old around as soon as he clicks his fingers. Other times he'll do something for my kids and then make a massive deal out of it saying he "runs around" after my kids like an idiot and nobody appreciates it and their dad should do more etc etc. Other comments I've had such as "to be fair, that's the job of their old man, I'm not their dad" or "I do more for your fucking kids than I do for my own" and "can't believe none of the fellers you've had in the past hasn't taught the lad how to change a bike tyre" (I kid you not. I've had ONE other man involved in my kids inbetween leaving their dad 14 years ago and meeting my current DP 4 years ago yet he makes out I've had tons of blokes in the mean time). Apart from these comments he's always banging on about how polite his kids are and how great they are because that's how he's brought them up and my kids have been missing a good male role model etc etc. He's so offensive and doesn't even seem to realise.
- His kids - obviously the more he complains and whinges about mine and the more he bigs up his own the more resentful I start to feel about them. His kids are far from perfect, immature, still very dependant and neither have ever worked yet he waffles on about them as if they're a gift from the gods. It's starting to grate.
- Finally, kids aside his attitude towards me. He sulks for days about stupid things, the latest one was a simple text I sent him. He took offense and sent me a defensive attack reply. I sent one back saying he's obviously taken it the wrong way and he needs to stop being so defensive. Well this row continues for 2 DAYS. Ignoring me, sulking, snapping, saying he can't believe the text I sent blah blah blah .... I turned it around and if it had been the other way it would have resulted in:
DP "offensive text"
me 
"that was a bit offensive, what did you mean??"
DP "explains" (or more likely kicks off saying how could I possibly be offended blah blah but for the sake of argument, lets say he simply explains the text).
me "well I found that offensive to be honest because ..... anyway, if it wasn't meant like that fair enough."
and that would have been the end of it. He's always had this awful habit of dragging stuff on forever, it's boring, depressing, has ruined holidays and many weekends ... I find myself dreaming of being with someone who just lets stuff go. Not because I want to be able to say what I want and 'get away with it' but because what's the point in dragging on an argument that just goes nowhere?
He's so defensive too. Here is an example of his sense of humour:
me "Are you working saturday?"
him "no I have the day off"
me "aww I am working! how unfair :)"
him "unfair??? oh yes how unfair that I have a day off after the 42 hours I've put in the rest of the week, how selfish of me!! fucking hell"
me "I was joking"
him "unfair??? can't believe you think it's unfair that I have a day off ... "
for fucks sake, forget it.
Turn it around though and he can say what he wants to me and god forbid I don't take it as a joke each and every time. If ever I react I get "you're being provocative again"